Icha Icha Engagements
by Jareth Dallis
Summary: Renamed from Rebirthing of Clan Uzumaki. Naruto begins to restore Clan Uzumaki and does such by marrying numerous girls. His life is going to be hectic and insane, good thing Naruto has a big heart because with all these women he will need it. NaruHarem!
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: This is a NaruHarem fic, and because it's my NaruHarem it's gonna be slightly AU but what fanfic isn't? I will be open to suggestions for who will be in the harem but please no Tsunade or Kyuubi that just disturbing and wrong on so many levels. Also please note I'm making Haku a girl in this fic too cause I feel like it. As such Shizune, Anko, and Kurenai are gonna be a bit younger. Oh yeah I'm never satisfied with my writing so I will more than likely do a rewrite.

Important note: I'm setting this about 3 years after the time-skip but there shall be a lot of changes to the overall story.

Just a legend here

"Speech"

'_Thinking'_

"**Kyuubi"**

'_**Inner self'**_

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

The Rebirthing of Clan Uzumaki

By Jareth Dallis

Chapter 1

"What do you mean Tsunade-baa-chan?" Naruto asked as he rubbed the back of his head. He was now at the rank of Jounin, and he was now eighteen years of age, and as fate would have it he was the spitting image of the Yondaime Hokage, Arashi Uzumaki. "Don't call me that Naruto!" Tsunade angrily retorted and flicked Naruto in the forehead sending him back far enough that it made the point to stop calling her that.

"As I was saying…the Uzumaki clan is nearly extinct you are the last. You will need to find yourself a girl or a few to ensure that the line continues. Now I know what you're going to say. There is an old law that states that if a clan is about to die out polygamy will be considered legal." Tsunade spoke with a sly smirk on her face waiting for Naruto to over react as usual.

Naruto's eyes were wide with shock, his right eye twitched as his jaw hung open. "But…how…I…err…." he stammered in a rare moment of Naruto being speechless.

"Now I will be nice and set you up on a date with my apprentice Shizune. Or would you rather be on a date with Sakura? Hmm brat? I know I'll arrange for you to have a date with both of them on different nights. Be gentleman to them or I will send you flying like I do that pervert you train under!" Tsunade cracked her knuckles to drive the point, and smiled in a grandmotherly way when she saw him nod.

Fortunately for Naruto neither of said Apprentices were there. He sighed softly wondering how he got into this kind of mess, he never knew his clan was that important, seeing as the village treated him like filth. He scratched his cheek subconsciously he wasn't sure how he was gonna survive this. No sane man would want to have that many women in their life.

"You may leave now Naruto. For now your mission is to find some girls to help ensure the continuance of your Clan." was all Tsunade said as she waved Naruto off.

Once outside Tsunade's office Naruto once again rubbed his head, he was still trying to wrap his head around what just happened. Just as he was about to come to a conclusion, the worst person for this situation came up patted him on the back, it was none other than Jiraiya. And he was smiling that lecherous smile of his.

"Hahahaha. Naruto my boy you get to live out every man's fantasy! Take this opportunity and marry all the pretty girls you can! Of course be sure to take a test drive first!" He then gave his famous thumbs up smiling broadly.

"Only you would think that you Ero-sennin!" Naruto said with a somewhat childish attitude for a moment as he crossed his arms over his chest glaring at Jiraiya. Honestly how perverted could the old man be, in public none the less!

"Oh come on Naruto. Who's gonna be first? Don't tell me that Pink haired girl you've been crazy about for years! Or is it the Hyuuga Heiress? Ooh I know! It's going to be that Yamanaka girl! I know you and her have been spending some time together!" Jiraiya continued to harass his student while getting lecherous thoughts in his head. Just as Jiraiya looked for Naruto he noticed that something was missing, Naruto. Jiraiya could only smirk while thinking numerous lecherous thoughts.

Naruto walked through Konoha muttering about a lecherous Ero-Sennin, he had enough to worry about as it is. Just as if by good favor there was something to distract him, and get him to focus on the present.

"Naruto-kun!! There you are!!" came a boisterous feminine voice as he was suddenly glomped. He looked back to see it was Ino, she was the only girl he knew of with the guts to glomp a ninja. "Why were you taking so long to come visit me Naruto-kun?" She said acting like the spoiled princess she is, going into a fake pout.

"Baa-chan was telling me something about how I have to restore my clan. So she says I have to marry numerous women and make sure my clan is revived." Naruto said oblivious to who he was talking to. Ino just smiled darkly and tightened her arms around his neck. "Is that so…" was her response her eye twitching in anger, there was no way she would be fond of sharing Naruto. It took her long enough to get him to start dating her in the first place, but then again if she was somehow the favorite it would be okay too.

"Can't…breath Ino-chan…" Naruto called out short on breath from how tight Ino had her arms around his neck. Ino realized she was pretty much strangling Naruto, she loosened her arms and smiled in embarrassment. "So where are you taking me to dinner this time? And no Ichiraku…you eat enough of that stuff as it is!" Ino chimed whilst nagging him.

Much to the dismay of Naruto, and his wallet he ended up going to a fancy restaurant with Ino since for obvious reasons he couldn't say no to her. It was fortunate for Naruto too that people stopped seeing the Kyuubi when they saw him, they now saw him as the son of the Yondaime Hokage, and as someone who would one day become Hokage. It made Naruto's life easier, even if he and Ino kept their relationship secret, it just made it easier for them. Especially since Naruto didn't want Sakura and Ino to start arguing like they were prone to. But for the moment Naruto felt like his 'mission' wasn't too important. He had the company of a lovely lady. Even if she was as mouthy as he was, uh oh that's right he was having dinner with her, and he was thinking about how his life had changed.

"Ne!? Naruto are you listening to me!?" Ino bellowed out as she hit Naruto over the head.

No problem at all. Naruto just gave her his genuine smile, and that seemed to keep her from yelling at him anymore. Of course it just means that his life was going to be getting more interesting from this point on.

"Of course I am! You were saying something about how you want me to get my own house…instead of living with Haku-chan, and Zabuza-san." He in all truth had been guessing, after all Ino had been on his case about it for a while now.

"That's right!" was all she said, while shooting Naruto the very look all men fear.

'_Her dad warned me about that look…'_ Naruto thought as he smiled nervously in fear, he ran his hand through his unruly spiky hair afraid Ino would hurt him.

"Now are you absolutely sure. You can't just marry me?" She had a very scary look in her eyes.

"Yes, Baa-chan's orders! Honest. But, even though I'm not keen on this…I will love you each equally…but you will receive a bit more love than the others." He held his hands up afraid of being hit, mostly a natural reflex from his former team mate Sakura hitting him so often. Hopefully this would work to appease the ever bossy girlfriend,

"Good! So when are you going to ask me to marry you!" Ino smiled pleased that she made her point that she should get special attention. Naruto on the other hand sighed in relief he just had to make sure Ino got to be his first wife, if he knew what was good for him.

The news didn't take long to circulate amongst the Kunoichi who knew Naruto well, and needless to say it was enough to pique their interests. And they were trying to force their way into the Hokage's office to see if it was in fact true. Many of them thought that Naruto was completely off the market, since they could see all the signs considering he was often spending time with Ino.

"ENOUGH!!" As if Tsunade, the Godaime Hokage shouting wasn't enough she slammed her fist on her desk almost shoving it through the floor. This was more than enough to get the women to calm down. "Yes it is true, Naruto is being required to rebuild his clan, but that doesn't mean you swarm him like love starved fangirls. Naruto is like the wind, you can't force him do anything. And you WILL NOT intimidate him via a certain Kazekage!" at this a certain Suna Kunoichi muttered.

Outside the office Jiraiya was eaves dropping and rubbing his hands together getting many ideas for his next novel. This was going to result in great novel more than likely. Oh yes very great!

End Chapter 1

Now who's gonna be the next girl to try to gain Naruto's affection? Tell me!


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: Okay according to the votes Temari was the most requested followed by Tenten, and Hinata, all the other ladies were runners up. So this chapter will address three of the girls but Hinata will get her own chapter.

Now this leads to another issue, I was thinking of renaming this fic to Icha Icha Engagements.

Just a legend here

"Speech"

'_Thinking'_

"**Kyuubi"**

'_**Inner self'**_

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

The Rebirthing of Clan Uzumaki

By Jareth Dallis

Chapter 2

A few hours had passed, and Naruto had escorted Ino home if its one thing he learned from his makeshift family over the years is to be a gentleman. Tsunade after drilled it into his head since she knew Jiraiya would be the worst influence. They stood in front of Ino's home, Ino was practically glowing with happiness, it was a known fact she liked a guy she could control.

"Thank you for dinner Naruto-kun." She smiled happily as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I should give you a reward!"

Just as Ino was about to kiss Naruto, just as their lips were about to touch the door of her house swung open, and Inoichi rushed out.

"Ah ha! I caught you two red handed! I knew you were dating!" Inoichi shouted in a very protective manner as he pointed at Ino and Naruto.

Ino's face was simply red, with a mixture of anger, and embarrassment, she couldn't believe her father and his over protectiveness. Naruto simple sighed softly when he saw Ino's eye twitch just before a vein popped out of her forehead. "Ooh!! Dad!! You are such a moment killer! And we know you know because we saw you following us!!"

Naruto could only pray for a miracle in this situation watching his girlfriend argue with her father. "Excuse me…?" he hoped he could get a word in edgewise this time it never worked when Ino argued with Sakura.

And in unison Ino and Inoichi bellowed angrily, which cause Naruto shrink back a little. "WHAT IS IT!?" Naruto only sighed and took a breath. He then decided on a distraction tactic, he the pointed to the roof of Ino's house and shouted loudly "ERO-SENNIN!!" and when the two looked to see, he grabbed Ino and lead her off before Inoichi knew what happened. "Wait a sec…I don't see Jiraiya-sama…" Inoichi turned only to notice Naruto and Ino were missing, his eye twitched as he only had a dead pan expression on his face.

"NA RU TO!!! YOU BETTER BRING MY DAUGHTER BACK THIS INSTANT!!" Inoichi shook his fist being ever the protective parent. Of course nearby a famous copy ninja looked up from his book for a moment smiling under his mask recognizing that as the sound of Naruto up to something.

"Naruto-kun why did you drag me off like that!?" before Ino could complain anymore she found herself being kissed by Naruto. She could only blush for the moment not really expecting that to happen. Fortunately for Naruto it shut her up for a moment he then slipped a ring onto one of her fingers and gave her his famous grin. "Not exactly the way I wanted to do this but uh…will you marry me?" Naruto half expected her to say something over the top and act hyperactive. It surprised him to see her looking tear eyed as she wrapped her arms around him hugging him tightly.

"Of course I will. Why wouldn't I? Someone needs to be at your side given what Hokage-sama wants of you." Ino said with her special cocky smirk, her confidence is what Naruto loved about her, that and the fact she never hit him over the head for small stuff. "Now let's go inform my dad of the news before he gets any angrier." Ino then pulled Naruto off to her house. Once back at the front of Ino's house, Ino was smiling brightly.

"Guess what Dad…" Ino began, Five minutes later, it could be sworn that everyone in the village heard Inoichi yell in shock as he shouted one and one word only.

"WHAT?!"

Naruto just stared blankly as he looked at his future father in law was petrified with shock. Ino muttered and rubbed her temples in disbelief of her father's reaction. "You would think he never expected me to get engaged!" Ino sighed and shot _the look_ at Naruto causing him to petrify immediately.

Temari paced around the room she was staying in, her fists clenched tight. She had to formulate the best way to gain Naruto's affection with out involving Gaara who was in fact Naruto's best friend. She didn't have to involve Gaara, she just needed a good way to get Naruto alone. Now it was no secret she had given up on Shikamaru long ago when she learned he was both a coward, and a lazy ass. Coward because he was deathly afraid of Gaara, and everyone knew he just wanted to lie around staring at clouds.

"Naruto Uzumaki the last eligible bachelor of Konohagakure. I will find a way to get you to fall for me. Now I just need an idea…and idea…"

She walked to the window and looked out and saw her salvation, Ichiraku Ramen. A sly smirk tugged at the corners of the Desert Rose's mouth. That was the answer, she had seen how Naruto inhaled the stuff. They did say the easiest way to a man's heart is through the stomach.

"Naruto Uzumaki…your affection shall be mine…once I buy you lunch!"

**(A/N: I know its short here but when you see her next in this chapter it shall be more involved.)**

Elsewhere a certain weapons mistress was contemplating her best method for gaining the affection of Naruto. She had known him for a great while she knew he was an orphan just like her. She also knew she was more fortunate than him, she remembered when the orphanage threw him out like he was some kind of animal.

"All because of something you couldn't control Naruto-kun…"

She had found that she was growing fonder of Naruto over the years since he consoled her when Neji flat out rejected her. She also realized that she had fallen in love with Naruto, but before she could tell him the chance was gone. She wouldn't interfere with Naruto's happiness but now…now was her chance. But this would require a good idea of how to impress Naruto. 

"I must show Naruto how much I care for him!"

She had a fierce look of determination in her eyes as she uttered that sentence. And she began to formulate her plans for the next day in showing Naruto that she cares.

"The springtime of youth! Tenten! We will help you achieve this wish!"

Tenten turned slower her eye twitching as she saw her former sensei, and former team mate posing in her living room.

"HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO BEEN HERE?!"

A vein was popping out of her forehead in embarrassment that members of her former team had overheard her. This was going to complicate things for her if they wanted to help her, since neither of them was in the least cunning.

"I and my adorable student! Shall help you become the bride of Naruto!" Gai gave her a thumbs up, and his teeth sparkled as he went into his good guy pose. This was followed by Lee who copied the same actions. Tenten could only give them a deadpan expression, this was rather embarrassing to watch.

"Riiiiiiiiight…" was all she could say as her right eye twitched.

It was sometime after the village heard Inoichi's scream that Naruto finally got home, he walked through the door and saw the stern look of Zabuza fall upon him. He gulped slowly he knew he was in for a lecture. Haku was no where to be seen, she was probably out at the moment.

"Boy sit down! Its time you and I have a little talk." Zabuza motioned for Naruto to sit at the table.

Naruto sat down quietly and remembered back when he faced Zabuza and Haku, back when they were Kirigakure missing-nin.

**(A/N: Okay, here's where I esplain why Zabuza's and Haku are alive.)**

_Flashback_

_Naruto's growled angrily as he charged at Haku prepared to kill who he thought was a guy. As the mask fell off, Naruto slowed when he saw the face, Naruto couldn't go through with it. He quickly clenched his fist to knock Haku out. In all honesty Naruto was still too kind for the world of the shinobi._

"_I won't kill you…you were deliberately missing…"_

_He caught Haku as she fell forward unconscious, in that moment Naruto felt something that confirmed that Haku was in fact a girl. Of course across the bridge, the fight between the Copy Ninja and the Demon of the Mist raged on. Kakashi moved through a flurry of hand seals and ran forward unleashing Raikiri, Zabuza quickly swung his sword forward, this bought him a moment's reprieve as Raikiri only destroyed the sword. A few shards of the blade flew into Zabuza's body wounding him, this was enough to insure he wouldn't be attacking anymore. Just then Naruto collapsed from using up too much chakra the next thing he knew he was waking up in a room looking around quietly. He sat up quickly and pointed in shock when he saw Zabuza and Haku._

"_What are they doing here?! Aren't they our enemies?" He was worried something bad was going to happen to him._

"_Relax Naruto. They're on our side, and they will be coming with us to Konohagakure." Kakashi's cool collected voice rang out as he leaned in the door way. He knew it would take a few minutes to register with Naruto. Naruto stared blankly for a moment, it slowly registered that the two were on their side and coming back with them to Konohagakure. It wasn't until sometime on their trip back that someone asked why Haku was wearing a dress. _

"_That's because…" Zabuza began only to be interrupted by Haku, "Because I'm a girl" Haku finished the sentence for her sensei. Of course this cause some jealousy to emanate from Sakura because of the fact Haku was much prettier, of course it didn't help to hear it come from Naruto. "Good to know Haku-chan! Because you're prettier than Sakura is!" Naruto smiled his foxy grin when he said this, but soon had a fist hit him on the top of the head._

_At the Hokage's office after their trip had ended, they had explained everything including Zabuza, and Haku's wish to join the leaf._

"_I will allow this on one condition Zabuza Mamoichi." Sarutobi spoke softly as he stroked his beard waiting for a response._

"_And that would be?" Zabuza responded calmly, he expected it to be some suicidal mission._

"_You must become Naruto's legal guardian." Zabuza the infamous Demon of the Mist was shocked to hear this. Sarutobi then continued as he took a drag on his pipe, "Naruto needs a more structured life, he's lived alone all his life…now what I am about to tell you does not leave this room it is an S ranked Village Secret."_

_Zabuza nodded to the condition, he may not have been the most caring man, but he did his part for Haku. He could only imagine if this kid had a bloodline limit that caused him to be shunned as well._

"_Twelve years ago this village was attacked by the Kyuubi no Kitsune, and my successor the Yondaime Hokage, Arashi Uzumaki made the one sacrifice he could for the sake of our village. He sealed the Kyuubi inside his newborn son, he had hoped that Naruto would be regarded as a hero…but the villagers only saw a demon. As you can imagine he has had a hard life, the council overruled my wish to tell Naruto who his father is so Naruto has no idea who his father is."_

_Zabuza took a moment to absorb all the information, and looked at Sarutobi calmly. "I will be his guardian, I'm the Demon of the Mist, yet he is only called a demon because he has one sealed inside himself. I can see he will be a great ninja, but he needs to learn to control his emotions more."_

_Sarutobi smiled, he was glad to hear this, it would help make Naruto the hero Arashi wanted him to be._

_End Flashback_

"For seven years I have been your legal guardian, but now you're old enough to take care of yourself. But still you are still a moron at times. What I want to talk to you about is Haku." Zabuza began, even after all these years he still wore the mask over his face.

"What about her Zabuza-san?"

Zabuza took a deep breath and sighed, he had grown to consider Haku like a daughter, and what he was about to say was really hard.

"I know about what the Hokage wishes of you, and I have seen how you and Haku have grown close over the years. And I had intimidated you into not starting a relationship with her. But if you break her heart I will destroy you!"

At this Naruto gulped, he had both respect and fear for Zabuza, and he would never intentionally hurt Haku. He just quickly nodded his head he didn't want to make Zabuza angrier.

"I can tell Haku loves you very much Naruto...so…you better consider her as one of your other wives because she deserves happiness too."

Naruto's eye twitched, this was getting really weird _'when did I become Sasuke?' _ he calmly thought to himself as he scratched his cheek for a moment. "Don't worry Zabuza-san, I will be sure to consider Haku-chan." At hearing this Zabuza nodded.

"Okay, you can go to bed now. Remember you hurt Haku and I will break you!" Zabuza quickly looked at Naruto with killing intent to back up the threat.

Naruto woke up the next morning, this of course was powering up form of Naruto. No matter how energetic he was, when he woke up he was a bit on the grumpy side. He brushed his teeth, and when he finished he found a letter attached to a kunai. _'It's too early for death threats'_ he thought to himself as he read the note attached to it. He read the note quietly, he was hoping things would calm down soon.

_Dear Naruto_

_Meet me at Ichiraku Ramen for lunch. If you don't show up I will track you down and bring you there myself._

_Love, the Desert Flower_

"Even I can figure this out...it's from Temari." He rubbed his temples lightly, it was safe to say today would be another interesting day. After he finished brushing his teeth he walked back to the breakfast table and yawned for a moment. He then saw a bowl of ramen in front of him, piping hot hen then looked up and saw Haku smiling politely at him. Haku unlike Ino allowed him to eat ramen constantly, not that it would kill him to eat something else he just thought it would.

"This should perk you up."

Naruto just muttered a 'thanks' and began to eat quietly, he was pondering how he would survive this mission. He was certain that this enemy was beyond his means to defeat, hell hath no fury like love crazed kunoichi. _'Why, oh why did I, have to become the target of every love starved kunoichi!?'_ Naruto thought to himself as he ate, he also knew there was one girl in the village that wasn't a ninja but was in love with him. Sadly he would have to see her while he was at lunch with Temari. His face paled when he realized Haku was staring at him dreamily. _'Oh that's right, Baa-chan said I have to revive my clan…'_ he continued his train of thoughts as he ate his meal.

Meanwhile, inside Naruto's mindscape…

"**You know kit…it wont be all that bad. You revive your clan, and you get to live everyman's dream!"** the Kyuubi said from behind the bars of its prison as Naruto stood in front of it. Naruto probably chose

"Have you been talking to the Ero-sennin you stupid furball?" Naruto replied not looking too pleased that Kyuubi was also finding enjoyment in this.

"**What's the worst that can happen your loud mouth fiancé, and the girl with the giant forehead start arguing. Its actually entertaining if you think about it."** Naruto could have sworn he saw the Kyuubi smirk, at least he thought the Kyuubi was smirking. It was really hard to tell if it was. "I'm not too keen on being punched by an insanely strong Medic-nin!"

"**Not like it will kill you kit." **Naruto glared and grumbled as usual, why was it that most of the people he knew seem to find enjoyment in this. "You're enjoying this aren't you?" Naruto raised his eyebrow at the Kyuubi's enjoyment of his plight.

"**Of course I am kit! You are suffering but you won't be killed by it." **The Kyuubi once again looked as if it were smiling. Naruto just grumbled about the damn Kyuubi being a thorn in his side yet again.

Back in reality…

Only a matter of seconds had passed, he then gave her his trademark foxy grin after finishing the ramen. He smiled happily as he was now awake from his favorite meal of the day, now what do with his day until lunch. _'I could train but then again I would lose track of time and make Temari angry…'_ he needed to find something to keep himself occupied for most of the morning, maybe find a bigger house to live in.

"Haku-chan I'm going to go out for a while today…probably talk to baa-chan and see if she can help me find a place. I really should get a bigger house." He calmly said as he walked to his room.

Once Naruto was in his room, Haku looked disappointed at the thought of Naruto moving away from her. She never thought the day would come when he would go his own way, in fact Haku had grown attached to Naruto. She would have to make her move before her window of opportunity was gone. She didn't even have a chance as an orange and green blur rushed past her and out the door.

"Naruto I will track you down later...I'm still an oinin. I will track you down and have my chance before it's too late."

Naruto stealthily entered Hokage tower, he needed to speak to Tsunade with out running into Sakura or Shizune. Just as he was about to make it into Tsunade's office he felt some eyes on him, he slowly turned to see Shizune looking sternly at him. He forced a smile, afraid she would attack him like Sakura would. Shizune, age 25, the strengths and weaknesses of her being a possible bride in Naruto's book were simple she was nauseatingly way too cute.

"Naruto, we're you going to just barge into Tsunade-sama's office with out permission?" She crossed her arms over her chest as she walked over to Naruto slowly.

"Eh heh…I just needed to ask Baa-chan if she knows of a bigger house I could move into." He raised his hands up obviously afraid of Shizune, the cute ones were always the most deadly.

"Now Naruto-kun why are you so afraid of me? Is it because you're now the most sought after ninja in Konohagakure, after you seem to have really grown into your body..." a sly smirk crossed her face as she approached Naruto.

And as if by some miracle of luck the doors to Tsunade's office opened.

"Get in here brat!" Tsunade yelled as she pulled Naruto into her office closing the doors quickly. He sighed in relief he didn't need to have a girl coming onto him this early in the morning.

"Thank you Tsunade-sama." Naruto decided to avoid making Tsunade angry at him it never ended well when he did. She raised an eyebrow at his sudden politeness, this was very unlike Naruto.

"Who are you? And what have you done with Naruto?" She cracked her knuckles and prepared to flick his forehead. Politeness didn't fit the Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki, it was peculiar, and very unnatural. It was as unnatural as the time they slipped Shikamaru some caffeine pills and he was more hyper than Naruto.

"What do you want Naruto?" Tsunade was quick to figure out that Naruto probably came to get a favor. And she had a good idea what it was. It was going to be one of those days where everything makes as much sense as the strange world that Jiraiya lived in.

"Well you see Tsunade-baa-chan…I um need to see about getting a bigger house…since I have to marry so many women…and the space would be good, especially for my health, at least my mental health that is. Where I live is too small…and I doubt Ino likes me living with a girl prettier than her." Naruto kept his guard up in case Tsunade flicked his forehead.

Tsunade smiled, and walked to her desk pulling out a folder, she set out on the table open. It detailed the Uzumaki compound, which no one lived in anymore.

"This is where you will be living, it belonged to your father the Yondaime, but the council didn't want you as they so kindly put it 'tainting' it so they wouldn't let you live there. Needless to say they are all gone…funny how old age catches up to them." Tsunade smiled, she then threw a kunai into the wall causing Jiraiya to reveal himself. "Make yourself useful you letch and take Naruto there." it was rather shameful in her book that Jiraiya was watching the happenings in the village like some sick twisted man…wait that's typical of Jiraiya except he's usually outside a bathhouse.

"Yes Tsunade…sheesh…you sure know how to give a man a heart attack…" when Tsunade and Naruto just gave him the deadpan expression he sighed, "right let's go brat".

"Okay here it is brat…" Jiraiya, simply smirked as Naruto's jaw hung agape, the size was incredible. It made the Hyuuga compound look like his first apartment, he had no idea his family was that powerful, then again his father was called the Yellow Flash.

"This should be big enough…I'll have to show Ino…but I won't move in until next week I think…" Naruto smiled as he rubbed the back of his head, it was going to be an adjustment. He then realized that he had to be at Ichiraku Ramen soon, he swallowed hard as he thought of what Temari might do if he was late.

"Crap! I gotta go! Temari will kill me!" Naruto pulled on his hair as he rushed off, towards Ichiraku leaving a smirking Jiraiya at the compound.

"This should be worth at least one whole chapter!" Jiraiya then disappeared in a blur heading in the same direction to watch Naruto on a date with Sunagakure's most beautiful kunoichi.

**(A/N: Rejoice here is what you've been waiting for. Naruto's date with Temari…with a garnish of NaruAyame enjoy!)**

Naruto panted as he reached the ramen stand with only five minutes to spare, he hoped he was on time because Temari wasn't someone that made idle threats. He caught his breathe just in time as Temari walked along side of him and latched onto his arm, now it wasn't a shock to anyone that Temari had it going on. But still Naruto had to blush, and frankly it wasn't like he could turn her down, Temari was known to get what she wants.

"Hello Naruto-kun. I see you got my message…good. Otherwise I would have had Gaara 'convince' you to go out with me." it was somewhat disturbing to the spiky haired blonde at how sweetly Temari made it sound. "Order whatever you want Naruto-kun, it's my treat!"

"Are you sure Temari-chan? I mean I can eat a lot." He then pointed to the stand which displayed a portrait of him that said '#1 Customer' below it. Temari nodded softly and pulled Naruto to the stand and gave him a look that said 'sit'. He complied not wanting her to hit him over the head with her fan, he didn't need a headache today, but he knew he might end up with one.

"Welcome Naruto-kun!" Ayame greeted them cheerfully, though she blushed slightly. This of course cause Temari to wonder why Naruto ate Ramen so often, was it because he enjoyed the company of this girl.

"Hello Ayame-chan, hello Teuchi-san." Naruto chimed he had gone a whole day with out Ichiraku Ramen, he felt like he was going cold turkey.

"What'll you have Naruto? You're usual two of everything?" Teuchi knew Naruto loved Ramen, but frankly he had no idea where he put it all. Teuchi then noticed his daughter was looking at Naruto like a love struck school girl he could only smile at this.

"No. I think I will eat light today." Naruto smiled brightly then looked over at Temari, he then began to subconsciously go over what not to do when out on a date, especially when its Gaara's sister. "So. I'll just have four bowls of miso pork ramen." He just kept his usual grin.

'_He calls that eating light? I wonder what he calls a large meal.'_ Temari raised her eyebrow delicately at Naruto's odd idea of a light meal. "I'll just have one bowl of miso shrimp ramen."

When the food was set before them, Naruto smiled, he had always loved ramen since he was a child. He smiled and picked up his chop sticks and smiled happily.

"Itadakimatsu!!" he called out loudly as he broke the chopsticks apart, and began to eat. Temari had followed suit she was amazed to see Naruto eating with manners, _'When he eats like a civilized person he's even more attractive.' _Temari thought to her self as a sly smile crossed her face.

"You know, Naruto, I never really thanked you for helping Gaara come to his senses." Temari smiled sweetly as she looked at Naruto.

"I didn't do that much…" Naruto just scratched his cheek quietly, he had become less cocky over the years, it didn't hurt that Zabuza knocked him down a peg quite often. But he had to wonder was his life going to be a living hell later on from all these strong women who were interested in him.

"Naruto is with Temari too…? He hasn't even been engaged to Ino for 24 hours yet. How troublesome…" Shikamaru said as he walked by with his son, Shikataro. _'Then again it's what she always wanted…I was never energetic enough, and I was too afraid of her brother.'_ Shikamaru was off in his own thoughts again. "Man what a drag…I would hate to see the children they have." and like that he was on his way. That is before Temari hurt him for that comment about horrible children.

Once they were done, and Temari had paid for the meal realizing that he ate 'light' out of consideration for her. This must be the reason why all the girls were crazy about Naruto. She of course knew that Naruto still had a demon sealed inside of him, so he had a higher metabolism rate. Temari noticed Naruto was starting to slink away and quickly grabbed his arm in a vice like grip.

"Not so fast Naruto Uzumaki! Our date isn't over just yet!" she then drug Naruto off, needless to say Naruto had a look of dismay on his face. "And don't think of using that 'but Gaara will kill me' excuse!" with that she dragged him off.

Off to the side, a certain novelist was writing what had transpired down, "Good, good! My next Novel! Icha Icha Engagements shall be a best seller!" He smiled broadly and jumped off keeping a safe distance. Yes it was true…the Ero-Sennin had decided to go in a new direction. Romance Novels! He had heard women like that sort of thing.

Hours later Naruto found himself sitting with Temari on top of the Hokage monument, though at first he was reluctant he was enjoying this. He saw Temari wasn't so horrible, just a tad bossy, then again most of the women he knew were bossy.

"You know Naruto-kun I'm not as vicious as Shikamaru made me out to be. It's just mostly just living with a brother who was a bit crazy." She smiled softly as she rested her head on his shoulder. "And I don't mean Kankuro."

"I knew you meant Gaara…does he at least get some sleep? I think he needed a nap." Naruto smiled softly before Temari jabbed him in the ribs. "I'm kidding!"

"You're a bad comedian, you better stick to being a ninja…" she said with a deadpan look on her face. _'Perfect, just have to wait 'til he's in love with me' _once again the beauty of Suna smirked. "You will have to take me out again, Naruto-kun…by the way Gaara is coming to the village soon." Temari smirked as all the blood left Naruto's face, it was an expected reaction.

"It's getting pretty late..." Temari began as she looked at Naruto, she looked him dead in the eyes, her green (sorry they look green) eyes locking with his lapis lazuli like eyes. She then leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips. The knuckleheaded blonde didn't fight back any either, his face turned the most interesting shade of red though.

"…Hummina…Gaara is going to kill me!" He then got jabbed in the ribs again, and just chuckled.

"He isn't going to kill you…now escort me home future Rokudaime Hokage." she smirked as Naruto nodded. Naruto first stood to his feet and then helped her up smiling the way he normally does. "Much better…I prefer that grin on your face fox boy." and with that they walked off heading to where Temari was staying.

After dropping Temari off at the apartment she was staying in, he walked home he caught a glimpse of Rock Lee, and Gai-sensei acting like they always do. Like they were on an acid trip, or needed to down the dosage on their psychiatric medications, either way it was very unusual, yet normal behavior for them. Naruto walked through the door of his home, he had one hope that his day wasn't going to get any crazier. Sadly, no dice! He walked in to see Hiashi, and Hinata Hyuuga in his living room, what kind of insanity is going on here.

"Naruto…I've been meaning to speak with you." Hiashi's cold, voice rang out, and like most Hyuuga he acted like he had the scroll of forbidden jutsu shoved up his rear. Naruto mumbled and sat down across from the Hyuuga's this was just going to be fun.

"Yes, what is it?" Naruto said with an exhausted tone to his voice, he glanced at Hinata and noticed she was blushing as usual. She had become quite the catch over the years, and amazingly she was still single.

"I have a proposition that will benefit your clan, before the birth of you, or Hinata even. I and your father Arashi made an arrangement. And that was for his first born son, to wed my first born daughter. It should also serve to make the Uzumaki Clan stronger…so in two weeks you shall wed Hinata." It was impossible to see if this was joke or if he was really serious.

"I-I g-g-get to m-m-m-marry Naru-Naruto-kun?" the Hyuuga heiress managed to stutter out before blushing bright red and fainting onto the floor. Hiashi's eye twitched, this was quite embarrassing.

"She still does that huh?" Naruto asked as he looked at an unconscious yet smiling happily Hinata.

"I'm afraid so…I hope she gets over it. We don't need to have that happen at the ceremony." Hiashi's eye was still twitching in disbelief.

Author's Note: Whew! It was a long write this time, okay just so you guy's know Naruto and Temari aren't yet together, can't just rush it. But, in the next chapter more Ino and oh yes if you haven't guessed it. Hinata! I think I have a good idea of the Harem as well. So in no particular order…

Ino, Temari, Hinata, Haku, Sakura, Shizune, Tenten, Kurenai, Anko, Hana, Kin, Tayuya, and Yugito. I might throw in Hanabi if I feel like it, and I might have forgot a few, but all girls who died in the series are alive cause this is AU. So until the next chapter, enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

Authors Note: I forgot to list Ayame! As for Tayuya there is something in plan for her. Trust me!

Now, for me to answer some of your questions. Yugito is the host of the Nibi no Neko. Tsunade won't be in the harem, she looks young but she's pushing 60!

Just a legend here

"Speech"

'_Thinking'_

"**Kyuubi"**

'_**Inner self'**_

"Should we wake her up? So she knows she didn't just dream it?" Naruto asked as he helped pick Hinata up off the floor.

"We probably should." Hiashi's sighed and pulled out a bottle of smelling salts to bring his unusual daughter back to consciousness.

"Tou-san! I h-had a r-really w-w-wonderful d-dream that you s-said I was going to m-marry Na-Naruto-k-kun." she fidgeted quietly as she said that, she then looked around and saw Naruto. "I-It wasn't a d-dr-dream!" and with that Hinata fainted again. In unison Hiashi, Haku, and Naruto all groaned.

"I simply hope she doesn't do this at the wedding. It would be a bit trifling if that happened." Hiashi commented as he once again used some smelling salts to bring his daughter back to consciousness.

Needless to say after Twenty-Five minutes, Hinata had gotten used to the shock. It was amazing that it was so shocking the Hinata had fainted at least nine times. It wasn't really that shocking to the others but to Hinata it must have been a big shock. Almost everyone knew she was infatuated with the Hidden Genius of the Hidden Leaf Village.

"As I was saying, in two weeks you Naruto Uzumaki, shall wed my eldest daughter Hinata, of the Hyuuga clan. Also be sure to wear something formal. Such as your clan robes. No jump suits!" Hiashi made it clear that he didn't want this to be some mockery of the Hyuuga clan, he then noticed his daughter didn't faint this time and sighed with relief.

"Why two weeks?" Naruto thought that was quite odd, then at the back of his head the image of Ino came to view. "Inoichi bargained with you didn't he?"

Hiashi nodded softly, _'Never, challenge a doting father…so scary…'_ this was the only thought that stuck in his head. "He made it clear Ino shall have her wedding first…he made it quite clear…him and his wife…"

"Alright…I'll be sure to remember in two weeks…you can count on me to remember that!" Naruto then gave his trademark pending foxy grin. Then dreadful thoughts filled his head, _'Formal Wear!? I don't own anything formal! And as I remember guys usually have to dress formal for their wedding or their wife won't let them live it down!!'_ after that though his eye twitched this wasn't good.

"Okay then, we shall leave…we will see you in two weeks." Hiashi stood and walked to the door, "I will be waiting outside Hinata". This couldn't be, was Hiashi actually trying to be a good father, and make Hinata happy.

"I…w-w-will s-s-see you w-w-when we get m-m-m-married…a-and p-probably when you m-marry I-Ino…" The Hyuuga heiress managed to stutter out, as she fidgeted with her fingers looking off to the side.

"Okay, have a nice evening Hinata-chan!" He then hugged her tightly, he was starting to see the point the Ero-Sennin and the Furball made about every man's dream. Then again he remembered that there would be arguing. He of course returned to attention hoping Hinata wouldn't faint, she had done this before when he hugged her.

"Th-thank you, Naru-Naruto-kun! I l-look for-forward to o-our w-wedding…" the Hyuuga heiress once again stammered, she then slipped out of Naruto's arms reluctantly of course and walked out the door.

Naruto flopped onto the couch and sighed in an exhausted manner, "no more affection for me today…" Naruto closed his eyes and got comfortable. He sensed a shadow pass overhead and opened an eye to see Haku leaning over him with a delicate smile on her face.

"You don't get a say Naruto-kun…Zabuza-san is on a mission which means you will spend the evening with me." Haku smiled kindly and helped Naruto up, _'This might be my only chance to spend some time with Naruto-kun…I need to show him that I am still fond of him.'_ she then lead Naruto to the dinner table.

"Too tired…" Naruto managed to mutter, before he could mutter anymore some food was shoved into his mouth. Delicious food! That was all it took to get Naruto to wake up, this was the power of Haku's cooking.

"Too tired for something I made just for you…?" Haku then gave a smirk since she knew Naruto loved her cooking. She set a large bowl of ramen in front of Naruto this ramen was on par with Ichiraku ramen. "That's just the appetizer Naruto-kun."

"How much food did you cook for me?" Naruto's stomach then growled, or should it be said that it roared. "Eh heh…looks like I'm still hungry…" he scratched his cheek, feeling a tad embarrassed by this roaring of his stomach.

"I know you ate light to make it easier on Temari…so I cooked you dinner figuring you must be hungry." She smiled as she reached into the oven and pulled out some egg rolls, and wontons, _'Thanks for the Recipe Tenten…too bad Temari doesn't know the best way is to cook for Naruto.' _Haku smiled as she thought quietly while checking the main course. She looked to see Naruto was happily eating the ramen, she then giggled when she saw there were naruto kamaboko fish cakes on one of his cheeks.

"What?" Naruto had paused his inhaling of noodles when he heard Haku giggling, he was oblivious that there were some fish cakes of his name sake on his face.

"There is a kamaboko on your cheek Naruto-kun" she managed to say between giggles. This in all honesty was what Haku admired about Naruto most, his child like purity. She walked over and took a napkin and wiped his face and simply stared into his eyes. This was picturesque moment, _'Naruto…you really have changed my life…I know about so many things because of you…' _she then blushed deep crimson and backed up to return to her attention to the main course. She quickly set the wok on the table then set a plate with wontons and egg rolls on it between the two of them and a bowl with fried rice on the table.

**An hour later** ('Cause I don't feel like going over the meal anymore.)

After having in fact devoured the large meal the two had relegated themselves to sitting on the couch peacefully, the two were looking around trying to find some way to start conversation. It was like they had a moment for something and it was long gone now, Naruto for one was oddly quiet. Naruto then leaned over and kissed Haku's cheek he smiled when he saw her face turn as red as a tomato, his smile then turned into a chuckle.

"You think that's funny do you?" Haku huffed as she jabbed Naruto with her elbow, the two had such trouble figuring out what to do since Zabuza was on a mission. It was a bit awkward with out Zabuza being a strict authoritarian, and not allowing the two to be alone, one would think that Zabuza took the mission to make it possible for the two to get closer.

"Someone had to break the silence!" he grinned in his special way, he began to tickle Haku as he broke into laughter.

"Noo!! Stop that isn't funny Naruto-kun!!!" Haku cried out between giggle fits as she was being tickled, she squirmed, and writhed trying to get away.

"Yes it is! And its ending the awkward silence between us!" was his reply as he continued to tickle Haku. He then suddenly stopped tickling her and looked at her, he took in her beautiful face and blushed softly. "You're beautiful Haku-chan…" he called softly as he looked deeply into her eyes.

"Arigatou Naruto-kun…" She blushed softly, she gazed affectionately up at Naruto, and smiled happily. She then wrapped her arms around Naruto's neck, she was blushing a bright crimson, she had never thought this situation would happen.

Naruto slowly leaned closer and kissed her softly, his right hand rested softly on her cheek. His eyes slowly drifted closed as he kissed her affectionately, his other hand ran through her long dark hair. Naruto slowly broke away from the kiss and simply blushed his thoughts were on what had just happened. He had kissed Haku, a girl he had been extremely fond of for seven years. Did Zabuza count on this to happen? No it couldn't be that simple. Naruto stood to his feet and helped Haku to her feet, and as she got to her feet she fell forward right into Naruto's chest.

Haku simply blushed deep red as she rested her head against Naruto's chest. She had imagined a situation like this would happen someday but not like this. "Naruto-kun…I have a confession to make…" Haku blushed deeply, she was about to make a bold leap forward. "I…I'm in love with you." her blush deepened after her admission.

"I love you too Haku-chan." Naruto wrapped his arms around Haku slowly he simply just held her close. It was a known fact that Naruto had a big heart, he was more than capable of having love for all these women that seemed to love him. Naruto sat down on the couch with Haku, after a few minutes he had noticed Haku had fallen asleep. "Sleep well my Snow Angel" he spoke softly so as not to wake her, and lightly placed a kiss on her forehead. He closed his eyes and rested his head lightly against hers as he too slipped into sleep.

**The Next Morning, at 7 A.M.**

There was a pounding at the door of the home, Naruto of course was a sound sleeper, so he didn't hear anything. Haku on the other hand did and woke from her serene slumber and walked to the door, she opened it up just a crack she then opened the door when she saw it was Ino. "Good morning Ino…I trust you are here to see Naruto?"

"Mmhmm! Since my parents are planning the wedding we need to get Naruto some formal clothes, and get invitations sent out. So we need to get started today." Ino smiled cheerfully, many people had often compared the two noisy blondes as being perfect for each other, just based on their similar personalities. Only difference Ino liked to eat healthier than her fiancé Naruto.

"Naruto is sleeping but I know how to wake him up." Haku smiled sweetly as she went to the kitchen and heated up the broth for her ramen from the night before. She then returned with a bowl of ramen, and waited as Naruto slowly woke up.

"Figures he would wake up from the smell of that stuff." Ino had an exasperated look on her face as she watched Naruto wake up and begin eating the bowl of Ramen. Once he was done, Ino took the bowl, handed it over to Haku, and dragged Naruto out of the apartment by the collar of his jump suit. Naruto quickly used **Kage Bunshin no Jutsu **to create one clone which ran over and kissed Haku on the cheek and hugged her tightly, once Haku smiled happily it disappeared into a poof of smoke. He was more than thankful that he learned that technique since it was going to come in handy from the point on.

**Five minutes later at the Yamanaka's**

"Okay, Naruto you wait here with my dad while we pick out flowers for floral arrangements." Ino then disappeared into the back with her mother leaving Naruto and Inoichi alone. The two men just blinked since it seemed pretty pointless.

"Then why did you make us come here?!" both men shouted out in unison since it was rather weird.

"Hey Naruto…I know you're good with Kage Bunshin no Jutsu…" Inoichi began as he looked at his future son in law.

"And?" Naruto replied as he looked at Inoichi was caution, since he knew they would end up getting in trouble if Ino or her mother found out what they were up to.

"Could you create a few clones and get us some food and coffee? It's Seven in the morning…we need breakfast!" Inoichi wasn't joking either as he and Naruto both yawned loudly. Naruto could only grin before creating three clones which then stealthily ran out the door. Within fifteen minutes the clones return with some cappuccinos and some pastries. "You're going to have your hands full with Ino…she's just like a princess Naruto…but I gather you know that already."

"I am…she doesn't let me take her to Ichiraku ever. She says that Ayame-chan is too pretty for her to trust to be around me…" Naruto simply sweat dropped when he finished that sentence.

"It begins!" Inoichi quipped knowing all the signs from years of marriage. He knew all the signs and could give this boy some pointers. "You do know whenever a woman says that to reassure her that she's beautiful right? Yet given your upcoming situation you will have to find ways to reassure each one that they are beautiful in individual ways…"

Naruto nodded his head in agreement, you could say that Ino was what they call 'The Hot Chick' beautiful, while Ayame was 'The Girl Next Door' beautiful. "I do know that, but I swear if one more person tells me I'm living every man's dream I'm going to hurt them."

"Let me guess Jiraiya-sama told you that?" Inoichi's eyes rolled at the thought, then he figured it was typical thinking of the perverted Sannin. It was the typical thinking of the man who writes _Icha Icha Paradise_, of course Inoichi's wife doesn't know that he reads that book.

"So how long do you think its going to take them to pick out flowers and choose arrangements?" Naruto asked nonchalantly as he looked around making sure he had an idea of flowers and bouquets to use if he made a wife angry. _'They actually have a I'm sorry I confused your birthday with a different wife's bouquet'_ Naruto smirked some knowing he might need that a few times.

**Three hours later…**

"Okay sorry it took so long…we get all the flowers picked out and just the right arrangements planned. Now we go find a place to have a wedding, get Naruto something formal because I am not going to marry you while you wear an orange jump suit! And then find caterers for the reception. No Ichiraku Naruto!" Ino and her mother then dragged Naruto, and Inoichi out of shop making sure the door was locked as they left to find a place for the wedding to be held.

**3 in the afternoon**

"Tsunade-sama we're here because you knew Naruto's father and may know a thing or two about the Uzumaki Clan…and we can't find Jiraiya-sama." Ino started as she kept a tight hold on Naruto's arm. It had been a trying day, they finally found a place to have the wedding. They were now on the task of finding Naruto something formal to wear.

"Well Arashi's clan robes might not fit Naruto…so you will probably need to find someone to replicate them. Now lets see…" Tsunade pulled out a kunai and threw it at the wall causing Jiraiya to reveal himself.

"HOW DO YOU KEEP FINDING ME YOU OLD HAG!!" Jiraiya shook his fist in anger, mostly since the kunai hit the wall uncomfortable close to his groin.

"Letch go and make yourself useful and make Naruto some formal clothes with his clan seal on the back. Call me an old hag again and I will aim higher next time!" Tsunade prepared another Kunai as she watched Jiraiya cautiously.

"Fine, fine…sheesh…come on brat!" Jiraiya shouted as he dragged Naruto out of the office. This left Ino, alone with Tsunade, Shizune, and Sakura.

"Ino pig…you know I will make sure Naruto-kun marries me too." Sakura didn't miss a beat at trying to stir up trouble with her rival. "I didn't know my fiancé liked girls with giant foreheads!" Ino retorted as she stood to her feet and the two eternal rivals glared at each other. Their animosity for one another seemed to materialize as if while they were glaring it seemed as if lightning struck.

"I saw him first Piggy!!" Sakura responded as she cracked her knuckles, the two were about to throw down right there and right now. "While you are fighting I'm going to go see Naruto-kun." Shizune calmly and cheerfully said as she walked past the two. She had a sly smirk across her face as she was headed for the door.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!!" The two grabbed hold of Shizune's shoulders and dragged her back. Tsunade's eye twitched as the three girls began to bicker right in front of her, she growled angrily and slammed her fist down on her desk much harder than before this sent the desk flying down to the floor below. The desk landed on top of Gai's head and split in half.

"AMAZING! GAI-SENSEI! Your head is so well trained that nothing can harm you if it hits you on the head!! I must also train to have as hard of a head as you!" Rock Lee was quick to say as he looked at Gai with admiration.

"This is my Kekkei Genkai! Lee! Head of Iron!" Gai then went into his good guy pose, his teeth sparkling as he posed.

"…Is that so Gai? I thought it was just that your skull is really thick. Besides you don't have a Kekkei Genkai," Kakashi quipped as he looked up from his book, this caused Gai's eye to twitch. _'Why must you be so hip Kakashi!?' _Gai thought as he became quite frazzled from Kakashi's sarcasm.

The four women upstairs could only twitch in shock that Gai's head was so thick that nothing could hurt him if it hit him on the head. It was just so odd, and unusual…after the shock was over, the three women were about to start arguing. "DON'T START AGAIN!!" Tsunade warned them as she cracked her knuckles, there were veins appearing in her forehead. "Stop fighting over Naruto…honestly don't you girls think Naruto is well capable of loving all of you? He is after all someone that wants to be Hokage, and the Hokage must show care for the entire village as if they were his or her family."

The three women nodded never having seen the angry side of Tsunade, she regarded Naruto as a son, maybe even a grandson that is if she wanted to admit she was in fact old. And she wasn't about to admit that, she felt like she was in her thirties, and thanks to a Genjutsu she looked it. "Now sit down and we can get to the subject at hand…planning the wedding!"

**Elsewhere**

Naruto stood in the local tailor shop, Jiraiya had managed to put Naruto into a replica of his own clothing. Naruto simply had a few blood veins popping out of his forehead, he was definitely not amused by this. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND ERO-SENNIN!! INO WILL KILL ME!!" Naruto shouted loudly right into Jiraiya's ear, his eye twitching. Jiraiya stood and glared at Naruto, "I'm doing you a favor! You should have clothes like this! It causes people to misjudge you!" Jiraiya quickly replied, as he continued to glare at his student. "I'm getting married I'm not performing Kabuki!!"

"Fine, fine…sheesh! Still take this as a present! You are after all my best student! Well living! And one day you too shall have a student! Hopefully just as annoying as you were! Ya know I think I aged fifty years because of you!" Jiraiya complained with his arms crossed over his chest.

**An hour later…**

"This is much better. Its comfortable, wont make Ino shout at me, and on top of that it's orange, and black." Naruto was pleased with the new clan robe or in the case of what he would be using it for formal wear.

"There it is the spitting image of Arashi. Except for the whisker marks! But what do you expect! My number one student is getting married! I'm just so proud of you! And you're marrying one heck of a beauty!" Jiraiya was quick to give a dual thumb's up in approval. Naruto could only grin he didn't care about correcting the Ero-Sennin. "You know I have to throw you a Bachelor party now boy!" Jiraiya shouted quite loudly not caring who heard getting lecherous thoughts in his head.

"No strippers!" Naruto didn't have the same lecherous thoughts that his sensei had, this of course caused Jiraiya to pout. "Not even one stripper?" Jiraiya tried to bargain with his moral student, he of course knew he was going to lose this argument. "Not even one! I don't think I really need to worry about seeing naked women." Naruto quipped, he knew quite well at his current rate he was going to be seeing more nudity than most married men in the coming weeks.

**At the Hokage Tower**

**(A/N: Let's just assume some of the Jounin have clearance to marry people.)**

"Tsunade-sama we just need to find someone to perform the ceremony…" Ino began as she tapped her chin in thought of who they could have perform the ceremony. "Would you do it Hokage-sama?"

"Err…no that might not be such a good idea. I'm kind of unreliable in this considering I was once married to that letch Jiraiya it might be bad luck for you two." Tsunade was by no chance joking about Jiraiya, it would explain why she hated him so much. Just then Kakashi had appeared in the room under a poof of smoke, "Yo." his typical entrance was to be expected.

"No…you can't be the person who gives the ceremony. You're always late." Sakura quipped quickly, she may not have been exactly the best friend of Ino, especially when a guy was involved. Kakashi walked out of the office in defeat, next to walk in was Gai, "NEXT!" was quickly yelled and Gai walked right out while sulking. "We may have to have Jiraiya be the head of ceremonies…" Shizune calmly commented, at hearing this Tsunade of course paled thinking about the ceremony that letch would give. "I'll do it!" Tsunade quickly called out, she would do anything to make sure this wedding wouldn't be a complete mockery.

**Later at Naruto's apartment…**

Naruto staggered into the apartment where he currently lived and fell onto the floor carrying some bags. "Home…sweet…home" He climbed back to his feet and went right to his room with the bags of new clothes. As soon as he walked into his room he dropped the bags in shock…his day just got a whole lot more hectic. His eye simply twitched, not once, but thrice! Standing in his room was the one person he hadn't expected to run into this day.

"Hey fucktard I was getting tired of waiting for you to get here!" the person called out full of anger

Tayuya…the most foul mouthed ninja Naruto knew. She may be part of the leaf now but still she has no sense of watching here mouth. Not to mention no tact, _'Why me? Why today? Why couldn't she wait 'til later to track me down?' _was the only thought that cross the number one surprising ninja's mind. "You know asshole I'm really pissed off you haven't asked me out on a date yet! And don't give me that you're getting married bull shit! You can still date other girls!" she quickly started to chew the blonde out, and blonde sighed since he just wanted to get some sleep.

"Fine…lets go for drinks two nights from tomorrow." Naruto wasn't sure about dinner since Tayuya's mouth would get them kicked out of the restaurants. Bars didn't seem to mind as much, and Naruto was technically not under legal age to drink since in Konoha it started at age sixteen, the unofficial law was as soon as you could sit at the bar.

"Okay see you there shithead!" She then pushed passed him after punching him in the arm, not in a playful manner, but in a Tayuya manner, meaning hard. She likes to hurt the ones she loves they say. Once he was sure she was out of the apartment he flopped onto his bed and groaned.

"My life is going to be hell…hopefully the sweet wives will counter balance the bossy ones…" And with that he sighed in discontent and snuggled into his bed.

Xxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxX

**Authors Note: Probably not my best chapter, but it introduces a course of actions that shall take place. Possibly next chapter some of the older ladies take an interest in Naruto but as you can see Naruto is gonna be busy with dates, weddings, and more insanity. See you next time on Icha Icha Engagements!**


	4. Chapter 4

Authors Note: I'm pleased to say there shall be some Anko goodness this chapter! And uh oh some more dates for the number one hyperactive knucklehead! Now I may or may not put Yugito in this chapter…

Anko is going to 22, Kurenai 24 as well, Hana shall be 21, and the rest of the ladies shall be at appropriate ages, except maybe Hanabi if I decide to give Naruto an overdose of Hyuuga goodness! As for how long it takes me to write a chapter, it depends on if I get in a good groove, which I did with the last chapter, this one is going fairly smoothly.

Now if you don't like Kurenai being in the Harem too bad, she never was with Asuma in this universe otherwise she would be involved with Kakashi.

Just a legend here

"Speech"

'_Thinking'_

"**Kyuubi"**

'_**Inner self'**_

_**Xxxxxx xxx xxxxxX**_

Naruto had finally gotten himself a good night of rest, as would be indicated by the fact it was now ten in the morning, and he was hanging off the side of his bed. He then fell over the edge and hit the floor with a thud, muttering one word, "Ouch…" he then crawled back up into his bed and stared at the ceiling for a moment. He then drifted his attention over to a wall, he then saw a large banner.

_Naruto,_

_Meet me at Ichiraku Ramen._

_-Anko Mitarashi_

Naruto sighed, another date already at least he was well rested, he staggered to his feet and got dressed, and staggered to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Upon walking into the bathroom his face turned bright red, for what he had seen when he was walking in was a nude Haku who was drying off after bathing. "Oh crap! I'm sorry!!" he quickly turned and ran right into the wall behind him knocking himself out. "Naruto-kun!" Haku pulled a robe on and knelt down beside Naruto.

Naruto shortly came to and rubbed his head, and winced some. "Itai… " he looked over and saw Haku looking at him rather concerned. He sat up and rubbed his head wincing some more. "I need to learn to knock…" he looked away feeling a bit embarrassed. His face turned bright red at remembering what Haku looked like while she was nude.

"It's not like you weren't bound to see me like that Naruto." Haku spoke softly as she put her arms around Naruto. She smiled softly as she kissed his cheek before heading to her room. Naruto just sat their blushing still, until slight fear washed over him, Anko, now that was a scary woman.

Naruto sighed and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth, then he rushed out the door making sure to get to Ichiraku Ramen on time. He skidded to a stop as he reached Ichiraku Ramen. He looked left, he looked right, he even looked up, and below. Then out of no where someone snuck up and wrapped their arms around him, "Naruto-kun your late! You are lucky I'm forgiving today. So if you buy me some dango I will forgive you for being late for our date." and with that Anko began to drag Naruto off by the collar of his shirt. Ayame watched this from the ramen stand and giggled.

Moments later the two were outside of a place that sold the sweet dumplings that Anko loved oh so very much. It was often compared to Naruto's obsession with ramen. Naruto simply blinked when he saw all the skewers she had thrown into a tree, of course it was rather embarrassing since she made a picture of them kissing. "Why did you do that with the skewers?" Naruto's eye twitched some since it was such an odd thing for Anko to do. Not once had Anko been the sweet romantic type, in truth she was more of a creepy examiner.

"Awww is Naru-kun embarrassed? How about I give you a kiss to get your mind off of it?" Anko smirked in a sadistic manner as she pulled Naruto close. This helped Naruto realize that this was in fact the same Anko. Naruto quickly was able to use **kawarimi no jutsu** to replace himself with a Naruto Plushie. He had seen his fair share of odd things but this side of Anko was just scary. Anko blinked as she kissed the plushie and looked up to see Naruto trying to make an escape. "Oh no you don't!" she called out as she bound Naruto in many snakes, she walked over looked at Naruto with an unamused look on her face. "Now Naru-kun if you keep running away I'm going to have to take more drastic measures." the tone she used would make even Orochimaru's skin crawl if he were still alive that is.

"Fine you win…" Naruto didn't like the tone that Anko used since it was beyond creepy, creepy meant you had an idea of what they would do. Beyond meant you had no idea whatsoever. "Good! Now c'mon fox boy! Lets get some lunch!" Anko was quick to glare at Naruto before he could mention that she just ate several dango. He only paled and let her drag him to the BBQ restaurant, apparently there had been a rumor that Naruto and Ayame were fond of each other, and Anko needed reassurance that Naruto's attention would be on her.

**Elsewhere…**

"MOVE IT!! Shikamaru hurry up!!!" Ino yelled out as she stood in the center of the location for the wedding. She had managed to get mostly everyone she could to help set up the wedding. "Oh man…what a drag…how did she manage to talk me into this?" Shikamaru with out missing a beat began to complain, he had been stuck with the task of bringing in the flowers.

"Ino!! This isn't what Akamaru is meant for!! He isn't some chair delivery dog!!" Kiba chimed in as he walked beside his giant dog who was carrying numerous chairs on his back. Just then Ino turned her eyes seemed to have changed to something demonic as they were aglow with a red darkness. Ino was going Bridezilla on all of them. "THIS IS GOING TO BE MY SPECIAL DAY! THE DAY I BECOME MRS. NARUTO UZUMAKI!!! NOW YOU STOP COMPLAINING OR WE WILL HAVE A PROBLEM!!! DO WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING!?" after she finished Kiba, and Shikamaru just paled and shrunk away in fear. "Got it boss lady…" the two managed to squeak out before returning to their assigned tasks. Hinata giggled watching this scene, it was funny to see Ino act so crazy about her wedding.

"Ino we simply must get you fitted for your wedding gown!" suddenly came a surprising voice to everyone. It was Sai…oddly enough no one ever expected him to be so, well gay. Naruto did, but that was only because Sai had made comments about Naruto's penis way too much for normal comfort levels. "OOH HINATA-CHAN!! We should totally get started on adjustments of your mothers wedding gown while we're at it!" and when Ino, Hinata, and Sai, the best dress maker in Konoha had left the 'decoration crew' sighed, just before shuddering at the creepiness of Sai. "Remember, if Ino isn't happy…no one is happy…so lets finish this setting up…oh man what a drag…I don't get how she convinced my wife that I should help…" Shikamaru quickly complained as he left to bring some more flowers in.

**Back on Naruto's date…**

Naruto was growing more comfortable with this new calmer Anko, it was still strange, it was like Chouji eating a salad strange. And Naruto had seen Chouji eat a salad before. "You've sure grown up Naru-kun, you're not that same mouthy brat I met at the Chuunin exams…which is good because you would be unattractive then. But still loosen up! This is a date! Not a wake!" she then patted him on the shoulder to reassure him that its okay to be himself, cause she wouldn't bite…at least not that much. Anko was a special kind of lady, or as Jiraiya put it, 'She's a special kind of girl, the kind you don't bring home to mama, she's a super freak, super freak, super freaky!' of course Naruto had that song stuck in his head for a weak after.

"Okay Anko-chan…" Naruto was slightly nervous, of course one would have to be considering how unusual Anko was. Of course they weren't so different because Naruto wasn't exactly normal. "Good…now eat up! You must be hungry!" Anko said with a cheerful look on her face, Naruto began to eat, he was after all quite hungry after having not eaten yet that day. After they had eaten and paid for their meal the two were talking down the streets, Naruto was of course telling stories that portrayed him in a heroic light. These stories of course earned the fox boy a smile from the Examiner. "Oh stop Naru-kun you're telling me Jiraiya-sama screamed like a little girl when girls found out he was peeping on them?" Anko couldn't suppress her giggles when she thought about Jiraiya screaming in such a manner.

"It's true!" Naruto grinned in that special way which must be genetic because his father smiled in the same exact way. Naruto put his arm around Anko's shoulder feeling more comfortable around her now that he realized she wasn't going to kidnap him and torture him. Anko blushed bright red when she felt him put an arm around her. She was one of the many who had seen him change from a loud mouthed idiot, into being one of the best ninja in the village, and like many of the women, she was smitten with him. It had been noticed by many that Anko had become a completely different woman since Orochimaru had died. Still she was the same scary lady who used snake jutsu, thrown skewers from her dango into trees to make a picture, and over all someone who was extremely hostile when provoked.

**At Ichiraku…(A/N: Yes time for more Gai insanity!)**

"Hello Teuchi! May I say you look most youthful today! And your daughter has the flames of youth burning in her as well! Though it looks like her face is a strange shade of red." Gai stated boldly as he struck the good guy pose yet again.

"That's because my daughter is lovesick." Teuchi replied as worked on making sure the broth for ramen was just right. "Is that so? Who is she smitten with?" Gai's teeth suddenly gleamed with light shining brightly.

"Who else? Our number one customer, Naruto!" Teuchi laughed softly, which became louder when he saw Ayame blush bright red from embarrassment. "TOU-SAN!!!" Ayame screamed out feeling even more embarrassed since she hadn't even told Naruto yet, and her father had figured it out. Teuchi and Gai laughed loudly, since it was as they felt it adorable to behold. Ayame of course was simply embarrassed, she wanted to tell Naruto but it was hard to tell him.

**And back with Naruto and Anko.**

"I have to go Naruto…I haven't thanked you properly for ridding us of Orochimaru…" she then pushed Naruto against a wall and kissed him deeply. Naruto simply closed his eyes, while blushing faintly. It was a bit shocking at first, but Naruto found he liked it Naruto had pulled her close returning the kiss. After a few minutes Anko broke the kiss and blushed, "We'll have to go on another date Naru-kun, and thank you for getting rid of Orochimaru for me, and for the village…" she then backed away from him still blushing, before leaping off to go where she needed to be. _'…I sure seem to attract the unusual ones eh heh…but Anko is really pretty if you think about it…'_ Naruto thought quietly with a faint blush on his face.

Naruto just blushed before walking to Ichiraku Ramen, he was still a bit hungry he just needed one bowl to make him full. He sat down at his usual seat, having passed Gai-sensei as he reached the stand. "I'll have the Hokage in Training Special Ramen…Naruto size." this ramen meal was a combination of all meats in a miso broth, and the Naruto size portion was a size they had just for Naruto.

"Coming right up…and because this is your billionth bowl of ramen…you get a special prize." Teuchi smiled at Naruto as he began to prepare Naruto's ramen for him. Naruto smiled at the mention of special prize, he liked prizes cause they were always good. "Cool what do I win?" Naruto grinned as he shifted his attention to Ayame who he saw was blushing again. "You get to marry Ayame!" Teuchi proudly proclaimed, at which Naruto and Ayame had shocked, yet blushing faces. Naruto then fell backwards off the stool which he had been sitting on. "Naruto-kun!" was all Ayame could say as she ran around to help Naruto up. As luck would have it Teuchi pulled out a camera and took a picture of this smiling happily.

After Naruto and Ayame had collected their composure they looked at Teuchi like he had gone mad. "At the rate you two were going there was no way you two would get together! And I am quite serious!" Teuchi calmly stated before setting out two bowls of ramen at the stand. "Now consider this your first date." he said before laughing heartily enjoying this change. Naruto and Ayame sat at the stand not quite understanding but they both figured they should just go with it.

"Tou-san you're not just doing this for publicity just because Naruto-kun is going to be the next Hokage are you?" Ayame was quick to ask before starting to eat her ramen. Naruto was already eating his ramen, it was delicious beyond compare in his mind, though it would be a far cry from the truth if he said he only ate here because of the food. Anyone could tell he came to see Ayame, just Naruto and Ayame were a bit slow to tell each other how they felt, heck it's the reason why Ino tried to keep Naruto away. Of course Ino thought every girl was prettier than she was.

"No of course not…I'm doing this because you two are cute together…and don't you dare think I haven't noticed!" he chuckled in a fatherly manner as he watched Ayame and Naruto on their _date_. It was probably the happiest he had seen Ayame, if you didn't count her reaction when Naruto came back three years ago.

**Meanwhile at the Hokage Tower**

"I see so the Raikage sent you here as per the arrangement for peace…you will meet Naruto tomorrow and the wedding ceremony shall take place in about three weeks." Tsunade was calm and relaxed, the things she had to do just to maintain peace between Kumo and Konoha. She couldn't believe who the Raikage had sent for the political marriage…she had heard Jiraiya's reports on this one. Yugito Nii another container of a demon, Tsunade knew that Yugito was just like Naruto.

"Why is that Hokage-sama? Shouldn't the political marriage take precedence?" Yugito was quick to ask, feeling she was being delayed by some plot.

"True…but Naruto has two weddings already…one to Ino Yamanaka, another to the Hyuuga Heiress, so had we known you would be arriving today we would of arranged for such…" Tsunade was being as honest as she could. She knew that the Raikage had sent this girl here to assassinate Naruto. Send a demon to kill a demon…but neither were demons, just containers.

"Fine…where will I be staying then?" The female container asked with the most calmness she could muster.

"This ANBU squad will take you to your temporary housing…" Tsunade motioned as ten ANBU ninja entered the room and quickly left with the Cloud Ninja. Tsunade knew that Naruto would be able to handle Yugito, Naruto would probably reason with her and get her to see the light, like he had in the past, the kid wasn't likely to die until he becomes Hokage, and even after that it wasn't likely he would die then.

**Annnnnnd back with Naruto!**

Naruto had finished his meal of ramen, and was now telling her another of his stories that couldn't have possibly happened, except maybe in a parallel world where nothing makes much sense. Of course it was all quite true, because the story was about Jiraiya being beaten to a pulp by some girls at a hot spring. "And that's when Ero-Sennin screams like a little girl." after Naruto said this Ayame giggled. Of course Jiraiya was standing behind them and there were tears running down his face.

"Naruto I thought we had an agreement…you weren't supposed to tell anyone about that. I thought we were friends huh?" Jiraiya was a bit irritated that his student was telling that story to almost every girlfriend he had now. "No Ero-Sennin…the agreement was I wouldn't tell anyone that you still lov-" Naruto was cut off by Jiraiya clamping a hand down over Naruto's mouth. Jiraiya was nervously laughing, because he didn't want that to slip out ever. "Now, now…I don't think anyone needs to be hearing that, mostly because it's private!" Jiraiya's eye twitched heavily this wasn't something he wanted anyone to know especially the person he was reportedly accused of being in love with still. 

"Naruto…you really shouldn't intentionally embarrass Jiraiya." Ayame managed to say before giggling again. Jiraiya side and stopped covering Naruto's mouth, he wouldn't be able to live that one down ever. "So say I accidentally let it out then its okay?" Naruto asked sheepishly, Jiraiya's eye twitched. He didn't like the sound of that, he liked living with out embarrassment.

"Why do I suddenly feel like there is impending doom?" he craned his head around to see behind something, with pink hair, green eyes, a red dress and cracking its knuckles. Sakura Haruno, Tsunade's apprentice, and little to Naruto's knowledge someone he was supposed to be on a date with tonight. "Naruto!! You are supposed to be on a date with me right now…not with the girl who feeds you Ramen! Jiraiya was supposed to inform you of that!" Naruto was then sent to the ground with a punch to the top of the head.

"Ouch!!" Naruto screamed out, he then stood up and glared at Jiraiya who was laughing in enjoyment. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME STUFF LIKE THIS!!" before Naruto could hit Jiraiya over the head, he was dragged away by the strongest kunoichi in Konohagakure.

"There goes your fiancé Ayame, hope your ready to fight for his attention." Jiraiya calmly said with the infamous smirk of Jiraiya on his face. Ayame just rolled her eyes, she didn't need to fight for Naruto, she could get his attention with Ramen, she knew the secret recipe of the Ichiraku Ramen.

**Back with Ino and the decorating committee…**

Ino returned and was about to go Bridezilla on her reluctant decorating crew. Shikamaru, Chouji, and Kiba were cowering in fear of Ino the most brutal bride to be was becoming more hostile. "Oh man where is Naruto when we need someone to take the heat off…" smack, Ino hit Shikamaru right over the head before he could complain anymore.

"Anymore complaining and you will be charged with the task of fetching Naruto from forehead girl!" Ino quickly threatened the three men who quickly gulped and nodded franticly. That was an impossible task, and all who were charged with the task would be brutally beaten to a pulp. "We'll be good…" they quickly replied in unison in fear of Ino whom they dubbed the bride from hell.

**Annnnnnd back with Naruto…**

"Sakura-chan, was it really necessary to hit me over the head?" Naruto rubbed his head feeling a lump that was forming from the force of the punch. He didn't quite know why Sakura suddenly showed an interest in him, but he wasn't going to complain.

"To make a point, never be late to our dates from now on…or else I will put chakra behind the punches." with that said the pink haired kunoichi then flicked Naruto's forehead with a gentle smile. Naruto couldn't help but smile at her before eating some of the food Sakura had brought for them to eat. Fried chicken, strawberries, tea, and she brought some ramen just for Naruto. "I brought foods you would like, greasy, sweet, ramen, tea…and of course me."

"Not hitting me?" it had been this fact about Sakura that cause Naruto to end up with Ino. Simply put Ino, didn't try to knock his teeth down his throat for an honest mistake. It was easier to get results by yelling at him, and forcing him to go shopping with her.

"Yes, as long as you conduct yourself like an adult." She calmly threatened, Naruto just nodded his head since he didn't quite like the idea of being hit again. "Okay then lets eat!"

Shortly after they had started eating, the impossible happened, Naruto was full! Never had this been recorded he always had room for more, but he ate most of the food by himself. But the unimportance of food had given them time to talk finally. A thing they hadn't done since they were younger. Somehow in the three years they simply just grew apart, and Ino become more dominant in Naruto's life.

"Naruto…did you know Jiraiya-sama, and Tsunade-sama were married?" Sakura looked to Naruto who she was latched to. Naruto nodded softly, he had known for a while, he was told it was a secret. "Yeah I know…dunno why they ended up divorced but I think it has to do with him being a pervert." Naruto chimed in quietly, he then looked to Sakura quietly as he remembered exactly why he had a crush on her when he was younger.

"You know…I always found your forehead to be one of your best defined features. It's what makes you, you." Naruto smiled softly and kissed her on the forehead. Sakura blushed in a way that her cheeks for the moment matched her hair, and then things started clicking. She realized back when they had just become a teen, it was really Naruto disguised as Sasuke saying those sweet things to her. This caused her to blush even more.

"Naruto…why is it you ended up with Ino-pig? You just quit showing interest in me one day. Why?" Sakura asked calmly as she regained her composure. She never quite understood why her biggest fan just completely gave up on her.

"Too many mixed signals, and you always hit me, and Ino never did anything like that." Naruto didn't have any other reasons for why, other than the obvious he thought Ino was pretty, and he appreciated the kindness she had shown him after he returned from training with Jiraiya.

"Oh…I guess I learned a lot from Tsunade but still I was a bit stupid…I let you get away…" the pink haired Kunoichi looked down slightly. Sakura jumped slightly when she felt herself being pulled into a gentle embrace. Her face turned the most interesting shade of pink, much like the flower for which she is named.

"You know, you have another chance Sakura-chan…" Naruto gave Sakura his most genuine smile, he just simply stared deep into her eyes. Sakura blushed again when her gaze met his, in that moment she began to understand how Hinata felt when she was around Naruto.

Sakura nodded and rested her head on Naruto's shoulder, she relaxed slowly and just nestled close to him. She smiled serenely, "Thank you Naruto-kun..." she quietly said as she snuggled close. She had never thought she would of gotten a second chance with Naruto but thanks to this old law she had a chance to be with Naruto again. "Naruto…if you become like Jiraiya I will have to hurt you…no divorce for you…you will suffer if you're a pervert." Sakura somehow managed to slip in one threat, one last threat.

"No problem there…you can trust me!" Naruto would sooner die than be like the Ero-Sennin, he had no shame whatsoever, Naruto could just see Jiraiya proudly proclaiming that he was a super pervert. Naruto smiled and stroked Sakura's head softly as he held her close. "You don't have to worry about me being like him." he calmly reassured her with a genuine smile. And then as the sun slowly set in the horizon the two shared a soft, and tender kiss, enjoying a moment of true happiness.

As nature has it the most perfect moments are always ruined, just then a huge sunset backdrop appeared out of nowhere. And the two most embarrassing ninja in Konoha stood giving a good guy pose. Who else but Lee, and Gai, they always did this for no reason. Oddly enough, the third person there was Tenten, who was growling and clenching her fists.

Smack, Crack! "Can't you two be serious for moment with out it turning into a drama!?" Tenten fumed for a moment. "NOW STOP FOLLOWING ME! AND STOP THE SPEECHES ABOUT SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH ITS GETTING EMBARASSING YOU TWO!" Tenten huffed angrily before putting on a cheerful face.

Naruto and Sakura just stared at this scene, Naruto wasn't so much shocked considering the recent events in his life that made no sense. So the sweet Tenten suddenly bashing her former team mate, and former sensei over the head wasn't so shocking.

"Naruto-kun!" Tenten quickly ran over standing at a distance her eyes sparkling lightly. Naruto of course became more nervous since he knew what was coming up. "I would like for you to come over to my apartment tomorrow evening for dinner." there it was, Naruto eyed Sakura cautiously afraid that another cat fight would erupt.

"Tenten…couldn't you wait until my date with Naruto-kun was over?" numerous veins popped out of Sakura's forehead. Naruto quickly nodded to answer Tenten's question. And that's when it happened the weapon mistress, and the chakra mistress began to argue.

"I don't see any reason why I can't! You don't own Naruto!" Tenten hastily replied, and Naruto's eye twitched.

"Naruto! You are now my eternal rival! I am jealous of your luck with women! I too hope to have as much youthfulness as you!" before Lee could continue he was struck across the head by the two arguing women.

"SHUT UP LEE!!" the two women shouted out as they momentarily stopped their arguing. Naruto was being pulled back and fourth between the two like he were a rag doll. Naruto envied the unconscious Lee at this moment, because he knew this argument would continue into the wee hours of the next morning.

"Another day…another insane situation…dad…did you go through this too…" Naruto managed to mutter as the two kunoichi continued to jerk him back and fourth.

**Authors Note: Yep…Naruto has an interesting life. But what's more he is going to go insane more than likely. Will he learn to use Kage Bunshin to effectively give him enough freedom with these crazy receives glares I mean unique and trying women. **

**I didn't really like the way this chapter looked when I wrote it so I may have to rewrite this one seriously. I never quite got the feel for Anko as you can tell, and Ayame is a blank slate essentially since we just know she's nice. I hope to make this chapter better in time.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Note: Well Naruto sure is in a mess now. Just to let you know I have started another fanfic, you can finds it by choosing Naruto and Tayuya as the characters. It too is rated M. You gotta have the M rating with Tayuya, now ONWARD! We must make Naruto's eyes all twitchy again!hit Sorry Sakura…but the fans like Naruto to suffer from all you crazy women!hit again Hehehehehe….maybe we should just continue on!**

Just a legend here

"Speech"

'_Thinking'_

"**Kyuubi"**

'_**Inner self'**_

Naruto eventually got to finish his date with Sakura but not after Tenten and Sakura's fight escalated. Naruto had finally managed to get home and as he sneaked through the apartment he carefully cracked his door open making sure there was no one waiting for him this time. He sighed with relief when there was no one in his room. He then heard a knock at the door, and sighed softly. He dragged his feet behind him as he walked to the door and opened it slightly, and his face turned pale as he saw Gaara standing there.

"Naruto…what's this I heard about you dating Temari…?" hoo boy Gaara didn't sound amused. He sounded as amused as Kakashi when someone took Icha Icha Paradise.

"Gaara I can explain!" Naruto was tired…very tired, and Gaara decided now was the time to talk as he used his sand albeit weaker now to push the door open.

"Then…explain…" the unamused red head walked in and sat down at the kitchen table. Naruto quickly sat down keeping a safe distance from Gaara. "I already know about the polygamy deal…but my problem is…you…"

Naruto rubbed his temples afraid of what Gaara would say next, he knew Gaara had a temper that matched Tayuya's and that in itself was scary.

"You didn't ask me to set you up…" At this Naruto's jaw hung open in shock before his face hit the table. This couldn't have been any stranger, Gaara wasn't amused that Naruto didn't ask for help. "…Naruto…you are going to make me the best man for the upcoming wedding right?"

Naruto just chuckled at this and smiled at his best friend, "Of course I am. Gaara you're my best friend!" with that the two laughed, no one had ever really heard Gaara laugh in a natural way. Only Naruto had ever heard this.

**The next day…**

Naruto had been free of harassment for a change so he decided to go check out the mansion since he would be living here quite soon. He heard a rustling in the near by tree, and he looked up to see several of his friends hiding in the tree. "Shikamaru shouldn't you be laying in the grass watching the clouds…or something?"

"Not with Ino acting so psycho…how troublesome…I pity whoever ends up teaching the children you two spawn…hyper and bossy…" the lazy bum said before muttering about how it was a drag. Naruto shook his head, and threw a pebble at Shikamaru, knocking the bum out of the tree.

"What the hell Naruto?!" the lazy Shikamaru didn't enjoy injuring his pride.

"I have enough on my plate today with out you guys getting me dragged into decorating for my wedding." when he finished that sentence he received glares from, Shino, Chouji, Shikamaru, and Kiba.

"GET HIM!! He should be the one stuck with Bridezilla all the time!!" Kiba loudly shouted. Naruto's face turned pale as he saw four of his friends cracking their knuckles ready to give Naruto a beat down.

**(Author's Note: I felt like a Benny Hill chase scene so if you know the music picture it being played.)**

Naruto quickly spun on his heel and began to run away, as the four angry friends. He skidded as he rounded a corner and continued onward trying to get away from them. Fortunately alley was too wide for Akamaru and Kiba to run down, so they ran around to the other side of the alley and blocked it off, Naruto skidded to a stop and looked left and right as Kiba, came from one side, Shino, Shikamaru, and Chouji from the other. He quickly ran up the side of one of the buildings, just in the nick of time as the four pursuers crashed right into each other.

The four quickly followed him up to the roof tops and began to chase after him again, and as the passed a billboard Naruto pulled away a cloak that he used to hide with as they chased his clone, and laughed in a cheeky manner. The four turned and saw Naruto and began to chase him again, Naruto then jumped down into the street and began running faster weaving between people trying to get away.

He couldn't avoid crashing into a hugging Lee and Gai, and after the four pursuers passed the knocked down Lee and Gai, they too joined in the chase. Of course they shouted something about the flames of youth.

Just then the pursuit passed Ino, Sakura, Temari, Tenten, and Hinata causing them to give chase too. The five women looked absolutely furious as they began to chase those that wanted to hurt Naruto, even Hinata…and when the Hyuuga Heiress is angry watch the fuck out!

Just then the Naruto they had all been chasing vanished it turned out to be another Kage Bunshin, and the pursuit stopped, except for Gai and Lee who kept running until they were standing in midair, and they looked down for a moment then looked back. "Would you believe it?" the two said in monotone as they fell down to the river below. It would seem that Naruto was still the ultimate trickster.

**Meanwhile at the Hokage Tower…**

"Okay Baa-chan…I'm here" and with that Tsunade sent him flying into the wall with a flick to the forehead.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT! I AM NOT OLD!!!" The Godaime Hokage said with a twitching eye. "Now sit down and be good until she gets here…"

Naruto sat down in a chair, rubbed his forehead, even if he could regenerate it still hurt, it wasn't like he possessed Gai's weird thick skull. His attention turned to a young girl who had just entered the room. When he saw her hitae-ate he began to freak out, a ninja from Kumogakure what the hell was going on. The Cloud Ninja were enemies or so he thought.

"Naruto its been decided that you shall marry Yugito Nii, the girl sitting to your right, in three weeks. This is simply a political marriage to ensure a ninja war doesn't happen between the two villages." The Godaime knew that this would be a chaotic situation, she could tell by the way the two were looking at each other they didn't really trust the other.

"This is the fearsome Uzumaki? He's no older than I am." the girl coldly and arrogantly made her point as she glared at Naruto.

"Well excuse me…I didn't know you were expecting some stoic possibly closet case! You have to look underneath the underneath." Naruto grinned at her, and didn't even stop when she glared at him.

"Naruto. Show Yugito around the village for a while, help her get situated in her new home." Tsunade prepared to flick his forehead again if he tried to argue his way out of it.

"Hai…Hokage-sama…" Naruto felt a chill run down his back when he was being polite to the old hag. But he didn't need another flick to the forehead. He stood up and walked to the door slowly. "I'm ready whenever you are."

"Alright Uzumaki…but my safety is in your hands. Don't screw up." The girl coldly said as she walked out the door. Naruto quickly followed her, he didn't trust her very much, he felt like she would try to kill him while he slept.

**Sometime later…**

"Okay so I showed you the clothing store, the grocery store, the training grounds, the hospital, weapons store, and now the pinnacle of the village, Ichiraku Ramen." Naruto was glad the tour of the village was finally over.

"And what are those two?" the blonde kunoichi asked as she pointed at Konoha's strong yet most embarrassing ninja in another hug fest.

"My advice is try to ignore them when they do stuff like that…its painful to watch." he gave a somewhat sarcastic look as he looked away from them. Just then Lee ran up to Yugito and went into the good guy pose. "You are a vision of beauty! Will you be my girlfriend!" the disturbingly energetic taijutsu expert proclaimed, at this Yugito just blinked looking at the buggy eyed Jonin. He was unusual, very, very unusual.

"Sorry…I'm engaged!" She grabbed hold of Naruto's arm and pulled him close to her. This would be the only way to get the creepy, bug eyed, and overly energetic ninja away from her.

"I see!! That is why you are my eternal rival Naruto! Your fires of youth burn more brightly than mine! I must try to be as youthful as you!" With that the annoying Lee ran off and began to run laps around the village. Naruto, and Yugito simply watched with horror.

"…I hope that weirdo will leave me alone now…" Yugito didn't want to admit but her skin crawled at the fact a guy with giant eyebrows was hitting on her. Maybe marrying this apparent dolt named Naruto wasn't so bad.

**Elsewhere: THIS SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY! Watch as we present Bridezilla verses everyone!**

"KIBA GET THE PODIUM IN PLACE, SHINO STOP PLAYING WITH BEETLES AND HELP SET UP THE CHAIRS, SAKURA STOP DAY DREAMING ABOUT NARUTO AND DO SOMETHING HELPFUL!! AND GAARA…er you just keep on doing whatever it is you're doing…" Ino was once again ordering everyone around as she continued to be in Bridezilla mode.

"Ino calm down…your starting to sound like a certain Red Head…only you're not cussing yet." A dark haired girl calmly said as she tried to mediate some peace in the clearing turned wedding hall.

"Kin I don't think that's such a good idea…one Ino is always this bossy…and two Tayuya is right behind you. Now you're life wasn't saved by Naruto just so Tayuya could kill you 7 years later." Chouji quietly said before being struck over the head with a folding chair by Ino.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING BOSSY!?" Ino was on the rampage, fortunately Sakura snuck up and administered some sedative. This fortunately gave them a sigh of relief, when Ino sat down in a chair acted calmer.

"Okay we have two hours before Bridezilla returns. Get the chairs set up, get the decorations put in place, and for the love of the will of fire! Get them set up according to her plan…" the pink haired Kunoichi gave out the orders, then her attention shifted to Tenten sneaking away. "Where do you think you are going!?"

"I have to get started cooking Dinner for Naruto." Tenten then vanished leaving a swirl of leaves. Sakura's eye twitched, simply because it took every fiber of her being to not attack Tenten. **_"SHA! WHO THE HELL DOES SHE THINK SHE IS! ITS BAD ENOUGH I HAVE TO SHARE NARUTO WITH INO-PIG, AND THE MOST TIMID GIRL IN THE VILLAGE BUT NOW TENTEN!? IF I HAD MY WAY NARUTO WOULD BE MINE AND MINE ALONE!!!" _** the inner Sakura was on a rampage, Sakura was still twitching with anger.

**Annnd back with Naruto and Yugito…**

"I guess I can stomach being married to you…it would seem you aren't as moronic as I had pegged you for." the blonde girl didn't seem to hold any punches. _'Despite the fact he acts like an idiot…he seems to be very warm…something I never felt in Kumogakure…no I have to keep focused on the mission the Raikage wants Konoha's Uzumaki dead…' _her thoughts were troubled, and conflicted.

She would have to kill Naruto…but she didn't see why, from all she could see he was just a warm compassionate man. Well he practices polygamy that's a bit weird, but other than that he's a nice guy. She would have to worry about the complications later. She could simply not go through with it, she was after all outside the Raikage's sphere of influence.

"I better show you home Yugito…I have to be somewhere in a little bit." he froze in place when she glared at him. The very fact that he had a prior engagement seemed to make the Nibi's container exude immense jealousy. "I will see you tomorrow though…so please don't be too angry!"

"Okay then Naruto…you better keep your word…because I will find you and hold you to that promise." She smirked as he walked her to her accommodations. She didn't know why but he seemed to respond well to threats but that's because she didn't know about the other women in his life. Once they reached her apartment she walked in and slammed the door in his face.

"Have a nice day Yugito…" he scratched his head in shock of what she just did. He thought she was warming up to him but yeesh that was harsh. He then decided to get ready for his dinner date with Tenten while he could.

**Hours later at Tenten's house**

Naruto knocked at the door he had a bouquet of flowers, he was ever the gentleman especially when around Tenten who was one of his closest friends. When the door opened he was visibly drooling. Not from the smell of good cooking, no, it was because Tenten was the vision of beauty. Who would of known that if she let her hair down, and wore a cheong-sam(Chinese dress) she would be beyond beautiful. "Naruto-kun? Hello?" Tenten waved a hand in front of Naruto's face. She never knew this would happen.

"Eh heh….sorry about that Ten-chan!" he smiled a tad embarrassed of his drooling. Not that there was anything to be ashamed of. It just made him look a tad perverted, but given the fact that Tenten was a beauty under normal circumstances. Naruto just never saw her well dressed up, and there it happened he began to stammer much like the lovely Hyuuga Heiress. "Y-You l-look v-ver-very lov-lovely Ten-chan" he blushed and handed her the bouquet of flowers.

Tenten giggled and took the bouquet of flowers from Naruto, in all her years she had never seen him so shy. Hell no one had ever seen him this nervous or quiet with out food or Ino around. It was for the most part funny, she then took his hand and lead him into her apartment. She made him sit down on the couch and smiled sweetly at him. "Sit there. I have to finish cooking supper."

Naruto nodded while still blushing, he wondered if he had this kind of effect on Hinata since she was prone to stuttering and blushing when he was around. He found that Tenten was having that effect on him, it was amazing he had never seen Tenten in that light ever but, now, now she was a vision of beauty! Naruto realized the one thing that made him think, her name was Tenten, and his birthday is October, Tenth. If he was like Neji once was he would think it was destiny.

Just then Naruto's eyes were covered he leaned his head back and smiled softly. "I wonder who is covering my eyes…" he rubbed his chin and smiled happily. He knew it could only be the beautiful Tenten. "Could it be the beautiful girl who invited me to dinner?"

Tenten giggled as she moved around to the front while keeping Naruto's eyes covered. She then sat on his lap and smiled sweetly as she uncovered his eyes. The food was ready, but she wouldn't pass up this chance to spend some much needed time with Naruto. She wouldn't get another chance like this. She leaned in slowly and planted a soft affectionate kiss on his lips.

"Dinner is ready but…I want to spend time with you…" she smiled sweetly as she nuzzled her face into the blonde's neck. She seemed to be enjoying this moment for all its worth. She looked deep into his eyes and smiled, she saw something that she could never see in the Hyuuga prodigy's, kindness. This was exactly what attracted her to Naruto, in the first place.

"Lets have dinner then we can return to this." Tenten smiled as she got off of Naruto's lap and helped him to his feet. She then lead him to the table, there was quite the meal in front of them all Chinese dishes, which was no surprise since Tenten seemed to enjoy the Chinese culture. And the two of them began to eat, the meal was quite loved by the blonde as Tenten had expected.

The two of them were now sitting on the couch, Naruto's arm was around her shoulder, and Tenten was practically glowing with happiness. She then moved so she was straddling his lap, her eyes were looking deep into his as she leaned close and kissed him deeply. Naruto ran his fingers through her hair as he returned the kiss, his face turned red when Tenten started to kiss his neck. "Ten-chan we better stop before we go too far."

He was cut off when Tenten put a finger to his lips, "I won't hear any of that Naruto Uzumaki." she grabbed his hand and led him to her room. Now this would not be the first time the Kyuubi container had done something intimate with a girl. In fact Naruto's first time was with his fiancé, one Ino Yamanaka, it was a few months back, but that's a special SS class secret that no one needs to hear about especially her father. "I want for you to make love to me tonight Naruto-kun…I love you…and I know that if I didn't dance around the subject I would have been your girlfriend sooner…so please do this for me…I want you to be my first!"

Needless to say that night there was a fair amount of racket coming from Tenten's apartment. Of course, the good news was Tenten's apartment was soundproofed so not much of the noise escaped. This hopefully wouldn't come around to bite him on the ass, hopefully.

**The next day...at some point…**

Naruto and Tenten had spent a good part of the night making love, Tenten was sleeping soundly, and with a smile on her face that put his to shame. It was safe to say that Naruto did a good job. He was also sound asleep, meaning for the first time he might have become exhausted. All he knew was he enjoyed it, and he didn't know some of the things they did were even possible.

"Wake up Naruto-kun…it's already noon…" the brunette cooed softly as she tried to wake Naruto up. She quickly gave up though and just snuggled close. It was too comfortable to bother not being like this. She then closed her eyes and just continued to rest with her lover feeling complete when she was with him. It was futile to even bother getting out of bed, but then paradise was lost when Gai and Lee made a **Dynamic Entrance** into her room.

"GAI-SENSEI!! Tenten has done something most unyouthful!!" Lee cried out in shock to find his teammate and friend sharing the same bed.

"DON'T LOOK LEE!! Tenten has done something she should have waited until she was married to do!" Gai quickly commented before the two hugged and began to cry. This was enough to wake Naruto up, his eyes had gone Kyuubi…no wait he was just tired.

"GET OUT OF THIS ROOM NOW OR I WILL HIT YOU WITH **FUUTON RASENGAN**!!" Naruto quickly threatened as he sat upwards. This of course caused Lee and Gai to leave Tenten's apartment in fear. Naruto muttered about idiots in spandex and snuggled close to Tenten wanting to get some rest.

**The next day…**

Naruto having fully rested up left Tenten's apartment early at the crack of noon, he hadn't expected that to tire him that much but it had. He was hoping he wouldn't run into Yugito though…he promised to spend yesterday with her but considering the situation it couldn't be helped. Then it happened she grabbed him by the collar of his coat and dragged him away. "You owe me a date Naruto."

"Yes Yugito dear…" he sighed as she dragged him off, another day another impossibly crazy situation. Speaking of which, he had promised Tayuya he would meet her for drinks tonight, he better get something for the hang over then.

"This place looks good." She pointed to the sign, and Naruto saw it was the Sushi restaurant not exactly his cup of tea. But if it would make her chill out then so be it. Once in the restaurant Naruto looked at the menu for a while and just decided to go with whatever looked best.

"I saw the freaks running out of your girlfriends house...screaming about unyouthful things…so I knew you were there. I could have dragged you of there…but I well…" the container of the Nekomata blushed deep red, she simply didn't feel ready to see him naked. "But if you stand me up ever again I will hurt you. You promised to take me to dinner yesterday after all."

"Hai I know Yugito-chan…but I was really tired…I wont stand you up ever again." he was simply afraid that she would hurt him next time he did it. _'Wait…did I just call her Yugito-chan? I hardly know her…'_ he saw her face become a deeper shade of red. He then blushed softly…he wondered what it was about her that reminded him of a cat. There was the fact she had slanted eyes…and a love of fish. "You sure like sushi Yugito-chan…"

"Like you have room to talk Naruto-kun…I heard you inhale ramen like its going out of style!" she quipped with a smirk, then she realized she called him Naruto-kun. She had no clue why but she was finding herself growing fond of this boy who looked like he was a fox. What she didn't know was she had more in common with him than that.

**Sometime later…after she had tried every kind of Sushi…**

"Thank you for a wonderful day Naruto-kun…" she then kissed him on the cheek and walked off. Naruto just stood their staring in disbelief of what had just happened. The girl he just met had started to warm up to him, he checked his watch then and saw it was time to get to the bar for drinks with Tayuya. And he simply groaned some he wondered how the red head acted when she was drunk. Maybe he would be lucky and she would be a happy drunk. It after all did wonders for Tsunade, she seemed a lot friendlier when she was drunk s'long as you don't call her baa-chan.

**At the bar…**

"Naruto!! About time you got here numb nuts!" That wasn't as bad as the usual insults she used, he saw the empty bottle of something on the bar and could only guess. He sat down next to her and asked for a bottle of tequila(don't ask I just like tequila!).

"To whatever!" Naruto cheerfully said and downed some of the strong alcohol and he coughed slightly. "MAN THAT SHIT BURNS!"

"I knews I could corrupts ya shooner or laters…" Tayuya's language was slurred slightly due to her inebriated state.

**Several rounds, and toasts later…**

The duo slinked out of the bar, hanging off of each other, Naruto was less intoxicated than the redhead. Tayuya giggled like a school girl as she looked at Naruto. "Can ya keep a secret?"

"I guessss I kin try….whatsh yer sheeecret?" Naruto stumbled some as he walked Tayuya home he was starting to feel the alcohol, though slightly his metabolism worked a bit faster.

"I'm in love withs a guy named Naruto…but…when I's aroundshim I jusht end up cushing at 'im and scareshim…" she smiled in her drunken state. She then looked at Naruto and realized it was him and giggled again. "Oopsh guessh I told him….hehehe!"

**Tayuya's apartment the next morning…**

Needless to say they finally reached her apartment, but the two were so drunk they threw all sense of restraint to the wind and ended up having sex that night. But now it was morning, and nothing like that reaction to knowing you did that with someone you didn't expect. The neighbors sure knew what was going on since the girl pretty much advertised it.

"Where am I…?" Naruto muttered quietly as he looked around the room, he then saw a female figure lying on top of him. He blushed, yet became ghostly pale at the same time. Not exactly how he wanted that evening to go. He had no plans of waking up in bed with Tayuya the next morning. He just hoped he didn't do anything stupid.

The red head looked up and saw Naruto under her and she turned red, both in anger and embarrassment. She looked around for her flute to hit him over the head but she couldn't find it. Just then she shouted three words and three words alone. "WHAT. THE. FUCK!?" these of course were punctuated with one word said in unison. "Ouch..." the hang over was there and it would seem even hangovers effected jinchuurikis.

Naruto sighed and held his head, this was going to be a very strange day since tomorrow he was getting married. Hopefully nothing bad would stick with him today, cause this was a bad situation for him. VERY BAD! No one wanted to wake up next to Tayuya after a night of heavy drinking. _'Why did I suggest drinks?! Man I screwed up big this time…and Kyuubi if you say it I will have the Ero-Sennin apply the five elements seal.'_ Naruto sat up slowly almost fell out of bed, but decided to lie back down. Why did he suddenly have to have such good luck with women?

**Author's Notes: Okay I don't feel like explaining how Tayuya survived within the story since it will take too long. But she pretty much got pushed through a light layer of ground when the trees fell on her and Naruto brought her to the leaf and helped with her rehabilitation. And how Tayuya ends up with Naruto it's a secret but it might be a Chidori wedding…or they got a marriage certificate while they were piss drunk. Either way it will be funny.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Okay it's been a few days since I updated. This isn't some smutty fic, its meant to be mostly comical. Also on the comment about Sasuke and Chidori, that isn't his attack Kakashi taught it to him. It was meant to be a joke that Naruto is gonna have a shotgun wedding. And Guns don't exist in Naruto.**

**I will give you a lemon in this chapter now keep in mind I have never really written a lemon so it may not be great but I won't make it smutty!**

Legend

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Kyuubi"**

'_**Inner self'**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but if I did Naruto would be a pimp.**

Naruto and Tayuya were looking away from each other they were in shock of what had happened. Naruto was holding his head from the last rampaging cussing and threatening Tayuya had just gone through. "Please not so loud Tayuya-chan. It really isn't necessary to shout that much…"

"Well you're the one who fucked up and got us so drunk Look what happened we ended up fucking!" Tayuya began to curse Naruto out again she seemed to enjoy making Naruto suffer. It wasn't entirely his fault anyways, partly it was her fault that she cussed so much and a bar would be the only place she could cuss.

"Well if you would clean your language up. I would have taken you to dinner." Naruto retorted as he looked over at the red head and glared. She was always seemed to argue with Naruto, but it was her strange way of showing that she loved him. She didn't fight with anyone else just Naruto, he seemed to be special.

Tayuya sat up and looked at Naruto giving him a strange look, it wasn't her normal pissed off expression. It was almost a lustful look she then grabbed him by the back of the head and kissed him passionately. Naruto went wide eyed by this action since he hadn't been expecting that, apparently Tayuya liked conflict. She broke the kiss for a moment and looked at him smiling in a seductive manner. "I've been waiting for you to talk back to me. I can clean my language up if I wanted…but I was waiting to see you have what it takes to talk back to me." Tayuya said as she reached down under the covers and grabbed hold of Naruto's balls and smirked. "You sure have the balls to talk back to me. That's good cause the size matches your ballsiness."

**(LEMONY GOODNESS WARNING!! You have been warned)**

Naruto turned bright red in the face, this was getting freaky, he had no idea Tayuya was one of those girls who liked conflict. He apparently thought the girl was just vulgar and foul mouthed he never thought she could talk decently. His embarrassment deepened as he found himself becoming erect from her rubbing his balls, he hadn't expected that to happen.

"Oh so you are as turned on by this as I am…" she lustfully said as she moved her hand to his hardening erection, she placed her delicate fingers around the shaft and began to pump it lightly. She smirked as she looked at him become shocked by her actions, it would seem she was a bit impulsive. She then removed her hand sitting up slowly as she looked at him with a grin on her face. "I don't remember last night…so how about we see if it was worth it. So…Naruto-kun…fuck me!"

Naruto shrugged, it would seem he really had no choice in the matter, he reached his hands upward and cupped her breasts lightly. Sure she didn't have big breasts like Hinata but they were just the right size. He squeezed Tayuya's right breast lightly as he laid her down on the bed. He leaned down and extended his tongue and ran it up the red head's neck and grinned when he saw her become flush with excitement.

His right hand drifted downward and rested on the red head's thigh and he caressed it lightly as he kissed her neck softly. Tayuya let out a low pitched moan from the stimulation she was receiving. Naruto spread Tayuya's legs open and rubbed the head of his member against her wet entrance. He eased himself into her slowly he smiled when he heard her moan out.

Tayuya wrapped her arms around Naruto's neck as she nuzzled her face into his neck, that's when Naruto began to roll his hips forward thrusting his length into her. She threw her head back and let out a high pitch moan she then lifted her head up and kissed him lustfully. As she parted the kiss the sucked lightly on his lower lip, it was amazing that this tender act was all it took to get her to shut up some. "Oh…Naruto-kun ahhhhn" she moaned out as she held fast to Naruto, she closed her eyes as Naruto began to thrust his hips faster, causing him to move deeper inside of her.

He moved his hands behind her and held tightly to her shoulders as he intensified his thrusts, he bit down on the girl's shoulder giving himself into the passion he was feeling. Tayuya was on the verge of screaming like a banshee, she was pressing herself against Naruto. She then screamed out loudly in passion as an earth shattering orgasm washed over her, she moaned vulgarly as Naruto sped up the movement of his hips as he was on the verge of coming.

He continued to roll his hips at a feverish pace as he was on the verge of coming then with one last thrust he pushed himself completely into his red haired lover and came. He ejaculated pumping his hot cum into her, he then slumped over on top of her breathing heavily. "Was it good for you…" the blonde asked with a grin.

**(Lemony Goodness has ended! All prudish people can continue reading now!)**

He rolled over and stared at the ceiling for a moment, before closing his eyes. He was startled somewhat when the red head snuggled up against him, he then knew he wasn't hallucinating when the girl punched him in the arm. "I had no idea you were packing shit head. And if I end up pregnant you will marry me!" she quickly threatened the blonde before kissing him softly.

Naruto grinned sheepishly only because he didn't like the tone she was using it sounded more like a blackmail threat than a do the right thing tone. Naruto sighed knowing this was another complication in his life, as if things couldn't get more insane Naruto knew they probably would.

**After Naruto had recovered…**

Naruto headed out the front door of Tayuya's apartment, he was whistling calmly he had no fear whatsoever. Of course it was around noon now, which meant he could go get lunch. He was walking along his whistling had turned into humming when an unexpected occurrence popped up, the Hyuuga Heiress, normally shy and timid grabbed hold of Naruto's arm.

Naruto's face turned bright red when he felt her ample breasts push against his arm he immediately began to fidget like she always did. This was a nerve racking situation he couldn't keep the girls off him! He wondered why Hinata was being so bold, maybe the thought of not having to be so worried around him gave her courage who knows.

"Naruto-kun…I m-m-made y-y-you some lunch…I w-w-was hoping th-that we c-could have lunch together…" the Hyuuga heiress was still timid around the boy she had been in love with since Kami knows when. She then began to fidget and the two stood there fidgeting. Someone would have to break the silence, it was considered a sign of the end times for Naruto to be quiet with out him eating ramen.

Over the years Naruto had witnessed as Hinata went from being the cute girl who couldn't talk to him with out fainting to being a beautiful girl who couldn't talk to him without fainting. He smiled cheerfully at her and kissed her cheek, he chuckled when he saw her face turn red in slow motion. "Thanks Hinata-chan I'm really hungry." he said this with the ever present smile he was known for, but unlike the one he had over the years it was genuine.

"A-Alright…c-come on N-Naruto…" Hinata pulled on Naruto's arm leading him off towards the Hyuuga compound. Naruto simply 'acked' as Hinata lead him to the Hyuuga compound. Naruto was wondering if this sudden boldness probably has something to do with the fact that Hinata and Ino were fast becoming friends. The thought of Ino influencing Hinata made Naruto feel like someone just walked over his grave!

Of course it wouldn't hurt for Hinata to be less shy and timid in fact it drove Naruto crazy whenever the girl stuttered. Yet her shy nature is what made her attractive she was a nice contrast to the other women in the Naruto's life. In fact if Naruto wasn't so certain that Hiashi would of killed him, he probably would have asked Hinata out on a date.

Naruto found himself sitting at the end of a table, he half expected her family to be there to make judgments. He had of course been surprised by the meal Hinata had prepared, he simply blinked at what was in front of him. It amazed him that that sweet girl he knew was such a talented cook, he didn't expect such a feast from her. Ramen, steak, tempura, and Onigiri for dessert, Naruto simply stared at the steak he never saw it before. "Hinata-chan you really didn't have to do that much for me…" Naruto shyly said, he just expected a meal of ramen.

"Naruto-kun…i-i-in another week…we will be h-husband a-an-and w-w-w-wife…s-so I wa-want t-to make s-s-sure you are w-well fed." Hinata blushed as she finished that sentence she then began her famous fidgeting as she looked at Naruto. She had her own food set in front of her, though her portions were much smaller than Naruto's. She smiled sweetly as she waited for Naruto to begin eating she knew there was a risk with cooking him something he isn't used to.

Naruto carefully cut into the steak, he had never had a steak mostly because this was considered rich people food. He really never had the money to buy it, so he was going to enjoy it. He then chewed the meat, it amazed him simply because he had no idea steak was that good. Perhaps there were other foods beside ramen that were delicious! "Wow Hinata-chan…your cooking ish great!" Naruto managed to say though almost muffled by him devouring the food.

"A-Arigatou, N-Naruto-kun…" she replied quietly as she quietly ate her meal, she was relieved that Naruto loved the meal, but she waited for him to try the ramen. She had her fair share of competition in the ramen area since she had heard Haku has a recipe, and she had heard that Naruto was engaged to Ayame Ichiraku and Ichiraku was the best ramen stand in the village.

In truth Naruto had two types of women in his life, the Anti-Ramen Establishment, and the Make Naruto Happy Establishment. Ino was of course the leader of the anti-ramen group due to the fact she thought it was fattening and unhealthy. Hinata's eyes lit up with joy when Naruto began to eat the ramen she had prepared with great enjoyment. It was all she could have asked for she didn't want her ramen to be better but that it made Naruto happy.

Naruto found that he really enjoyed the tempura, for some reason he liked the way deep fried food tasted, it was after all the male factor. It was a known fact that guys liked greasy food.

**Eventually…**

"I-I-I'm impr-impressed N-Naruto-kun! Y-You ate everything…" Hinata gasped in amazement as she held her hands to her mouth. She hadn't expected Naruto to eat all that including the extra she had prepared, of course Naruto had eaten way too much, he was laying on back groaning. "Too much f-food." he quietly muttered as he looked at the ceiling, at this rate he wear going to be as fat er big boned as Chouji.

"Naruto-kun y-you didn't really have to eat all of it…" Hinata spoke with a concerned look on her face as she looked at Naruto he was known to overdo it sometimes. Needless Hinata wasn't surprised she then gave him a digestive aid since she didn't want to see him in such discomfort even if it was his entire fault.

Once Naruto was feeling better he sat up and pulled Hinata into a hug, immediately her face turned bright red. She was shocked by this she just blushed since she wasn't quite used to Naruto showing her affection. "I….I l-l-l-love y-y-you N-Na-Naruto-kun" she finally managed to say it, though she felt like fainting when she finished the sentence.

"I know Hinata-chan…I somehow always knew…but you always fainted when I tried to talk to you." Naruto softly replied, as he held the ever shy girl close. He felt her jump in shock and expected it he had come to know her mannerisms. "Don't be so jumpy Hinata-chan…"

"H-Hai N-Naruto-kun…" the white eyed Hinata meekly replied to her fiancé, she looked up into his vibrant blue eyes timidly. Her heart felt like it was beating a thousand times a minute. She would probably always stutter it's what made her unique, but hopefully she would get over the habit of fainting all the time. "I-I will t-try to stop fainting all the time N-Naruto-kun…"

"Thanks…it's kind of hard to talk to you when you faint all the time…" Naruto cheerfully said with a grin on his face. He then kissed her ever so lightly, and stopped there since he expected her to freeze when he kissed her. The pale princess was turning the most interesting shade of red from the attention she was receiving from her first and only crush.

**Across town…**

"Now which puppy will Naruto-kun just melt over…?" Hana Inuzuka was examining puppies from a litter of puppies. She was planning to win the boy over with a puppy. Guys usually do that with girls so who says a girl cant do the same, she then spotted an tan and black colored puppy and smiled.

"You seriously think you have a chance sis? I don't see why all you girls are crazy about him." Kiba muttered quietly, he was glad he finally had a reprieve from Bridezilla attacks…at least until Hyuuga Bridezilla struck. Then again Hinata is normally quiet she couldn't be as horrible as Ino was. Or could she?

"Shut up Kiba! You're just jealous because Hinata never saw you that way." Hana smirked as she picked up the puppy which was probably the most adorable one of the litter.

Kiba simply glared, he didn't like admitting he lost to Naruto even if the two had become friends. It drove him crazy that Naruto had turned out to be such a pimp! But maybe Kiba could score some of the overflow girls, it couldn't hurt to ask Naruto to send a few Kiba's way right?

"Now if you will excuse me I have to go track Naruto down." Hana then abruptly left with the small puppy in her arms. Kiba's eye twitched as he fell into a chair, this was beyond crazy. It was just like the days of the academy almost except Naruto had become god's gift to women! Needless to say Kiba was quite jealous.

**The plotting continues…**

Naruto had been leaving Hyuuga compound when it happened, he felt a cold chill run down his spine. He felt killing intent…no it was more frightening than that…girlfriend intent! The very thing Naruto justly feared…the unwanted attention of girls. He slowly turned to look at who was behind him, and he petrifies, long dark hair, with a girly ribbon, it was Kin.

"Naruto-kun!!" the dark haired girl called out as she latched onto Naruto's arm, he only grumbled since he needed at least ten minutes alone from the women. Is that so much to ask, a little time to be alone and think? Not that it was so bad getting affection from Kin, she was quite the looker, and she always was.

"Yes Kin-chan?" Naruto sighed softly he was exhausted from everything today, he needed a nap. Before he could start to complain he was being pulled away by the dark haired girl, he groaned in exasperation.

"Relax…I'm just taking you somewhere so you can rest for a moment before Bridezilla gets a hold of you again" Kin calmly explained as she led Naruto off to someplace the army of girls would never think to look for Naruto, her apartment. Unlike some of the women, Kin was a bit more patient after all Naruto was someone she had her eye on for a while.

"So tired…so very tired" Naruto mumbled quietly, it was mostly his fault anyway considering who he had been doing lately. Kin had helped him into her apartment and helped him lay down on the couch she could only imagine how exhausted the normally energetic Naruto was. Naruto's head was resting in Kin's lap, not like he could complain all he knew was Kin was going to allow him to rest.

"When I first met you…I just thought you were a noisy, obnoxious, hyperactive runt." The dark haired beauty began as she stroked Naruto's head affectionately trying to get him relaxed so he could sleep. "But when you dragged me out of that hospital room and hid me in your old apartment, at first I was upset…but when it turned out you saved me…"

"I know." Naruto mumbled as looked up at the dark haired girl she was definitely calmer than Tayuya which was good for Naruto. The calm ones balanced out the psychopaths, and Naruto surely attracted the psychopaths. Naruto felt his eyes growing heavy, _'This is nice…'_ Naruto then gave into the comfort and drifted into a nap.

"There you go Naruto-kun just rest. I'll keep you safe from the crazy girls." Kin smiled and relaxed letting Naruto rest it was her little tactic to make Naruto fall for her. She smiled slyly since she could understand that Naruto needed sometime away from the insanity. "No more dating for you. Ino will kill you if you don't show up for the wedding tomorrow. And I won't get my chance to date you if she does that!"

Of course out in the village there were girls stalking the streets looking for the knucklehead turned God's Gift to Kunoichi. A cute medic nin wearing a black kimono, a wind mistress, a pink haired beauty, a veterinarian with a puppy, and a psychopathic bride. Naruto was lucky Kin took him to the one place the lunatics would think to look.

Naruto was safely tucked away, and Kin wasn't going to let anything bad happen to Naruto for now. Kin was a bit selfish like that, but what did you expect Naruto was the most desired man in the village. It came with the territory, and Naruto couldn't do anything to stop it until he said no more and he was a glutton for pain. For now the dates would have to wait he was getting married tomorrow and that was something to make sure to stay on top of.

**Author's Notes: And there you go…now you can't say I never gave you a lemon scene. Now I know you guys like this better than my other story, but I won't give up on this fic. Just Sounds of a New Destiny gives me more creative freedom and its hard to be romantic comedy mode all the time! But I will try and get an update done in a week.**

**Enjoy!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Notes: Its IIE time again…so that means its time to torment Naruto with the affections of his women. I know I'm kinda slow with the updates to this fic but I'm trying to do my best.**

**Still at Kin's apartment…**

Naruto had been able to rest for a few hours in the comfort that Kin had offered him. He then opened his eyes abruptly and sat up as he remembered he had a bachelor party to attend. "Nuh-uh! You aren't going anywhere!" Kin shouted out as she held Naruto fast preventing him from escaping.

"But…but! Bachelor Party!!" Naruto whined since he had hoped to go to the stripper free bachelor party. The girl shot him a stern look and pointed to poster of Ino that Ino had made to strike fear into Naruto. It featured a grouchy looking Ino cracking her knuckles with the words 'Don't be late' in large letters.

"She made that poster and put it over the village in case you got ideas about partying tonight and showing up late for the wedding. She…WILL DESTROY US ALL IF YOU'RE LATE!!" Kin explained while she exclaimed about it, of course Naruto cringed some since he knew his bride to be would rampage if he was late.

"I never thought about it that way." Naruto didn't want to see Ino go berserk if he didn't show up he wanted to avoid that at all costs so he settled down on the couch. He figured the bachelor party could do well with out him.

"I bet you don't recognize this place anymore…" Kin began for her apartment was in fact the apartment where Naruto had lived for a portion of his life until Haku and Zabuza had come to live in the village. It had indeed been changed in the years since he had lived there, of course it was the feminine touch from Kin that made it much better. "At first it was hard getting use to life in the village but I got used to the fact that daily life wasn't a test. Of course some villagers didn't like me at first because I was from Otogakure but…you helped me through those hard times when you came and helped me with my chores when you had free time."

Naruto nodded his head and smiled softly at the dark haired girl. It was true he took care of Kin because he took it upon himself to help other people. He wanted to be the Hokage after all and it was practice for him.

It never dawned on him back then that Kin may have had feeling for him but when her personality became more distant after he started to date Ino. He still had no idea that the girl was fond of him, but that was quickly clarified when the girl moved and straddled Naruto's lap looking him dead in the eyes. "I still haven't thanked you for helping me out…" Kin smiled softly and leaned forward kissing Naruto softly on the lips, he didn't fight it though he had come to terms with the fact he somehow became the Pimpkage.

He simply wrapped his arms around the girl as he returned the kiss softly but that's when a knocking on the door was heard and the moment was killed. From the other side of the door barking was heard which meant Hana had somehow managed to track down Naruto. "Open up Kin…I know you have Naruto…I'm not going to molest him or anything…I just want to give him a puppy." Hana said through the door, of course Naruto sighed in grief because a perfect moment was spoiled.

Kin stood to her feet and walked to the door and looked through the peephole to make sure Hana was truthful on the matter. Sure enough she was holding a puppy, so Kin opened the door to let Hana in. "Here you go Naruto-kun…I wanted you to have the pick of the litter…he reminds me of you. Ambitious and Energetic." she smiled sweetly as she handed Naruto the little puppy.

The puppy immediately licked Naruto's cheek causing Naruto to chuckle, Hana smiled and walked back to the door keeping her word. "And if Bridezilla tells you, you can't keep him tell me I will give her a piece of my mind!" Hana smiled as she walked out the door leaving Naruto to blink some as he looked at the puppy.

"What should I name you…how about…Kamaboko?" Naruto grinned and Kin giggled since she thought it was funny how his mind was always fixated on ramen. The puppy just wagged its tail and yipped at Naruto happily.

"Naruto-kun you could give him a better name than that. Give him a name that doesn't sound like you were hungry." Kin knew Naruto was probably hungry so she walked off to the kitchen and began to prepare some instant ramen. One of the finer things in life that Naruto got her indoctrinated to.

Naruto was busy playing with the puppy, it was a total guy thing every guy wanted a puppy at some point…it was the perfect girl magnet too. He rubbed his chin in thought as he looked at the pup. "I'll just call ya Taiyoumaru!" Naruto smiled and pet the pup's head.

"That's a better name Naruto-kun" Kin called out as she brought some instant ramen over to Naruto. It would also seem that all the women in his life would prevent him from doing stupid things but that comes with every girl they make sure men don't do something foolish.

The two began to eat their instant ramen, though it wasn't as good as Haku or Ichiraku's ramen. But it was instant and that was good enough as he inhaled it. Eventually Naruto finished his ramen, he had learned to slow down his eating since it was bad manners.

"I better get going Kin-chan…I have to get a good nights rest…" Naruto yawned out as he stood up with Taiyoumaru fast asleep in his arms. He of course used **Henge** to transform into a disguise that would allow him to get home fast. The form he chose was that of the guy girls didn't want to chase anymore. Sasuke Uchiha. _'Now remember…act emo…act like you're better than everyone. And we can get home with ease.' _Naruto told himself mentally as he began to walk out the door.

Naruto made his trek home with no problem and when he reached the front door he released the transformation and grinned walking inside. Of course once he got inside there was a squeal from Haku at the puppy he was holding. "IT'S SO CUTE!!" Haku clasped her hands together and looked at the puppy Naruto was holding. The pup quirked one of its ears as Naruto raised one of his eyebrows.

"Haku…I never saw this side of you…it's so….well…girly…" Naruto bluntly said as Haku blushed deep crimson since she had never acted so girly ever. Naruto handed the puppy over to her so she could hold it since she thought it was so cute. "His name is Taiyoumaru."

"So cute!!" Haku squealed yet again as she cuddled the puppy as she held it, Naruto just blinked at the peculiar way his room mate turned girlfriend was acting. He shrugged it off and walked to his room and crawled into bed, tomorrow he was getting married so he had to get some rest.

**The next morning!**

Naruto fell out of his bed as it had been established he hated morning he dragged himself to the bathroom and knocked this time. He looked down the hall and saw Haku playing with Taiyoumaru, so he walked into the bathroom and took care of getting cleaned up he didn't have to exactly leave for the place the wedding was taking place for a few hours. So how was he going to kill the time, training was a question, eating ramen too, what could he do what could he do? His eyes were wandering over to Haku every time he was trying to think of something. _"GAH!! ERO-SENNIN HAS INFECTED ME WITH LECHEROUS THOUGHTS!!" _Naruto began to mentally scream at himself.

**Then in the mindscape of Naruto…**

"**Come on kit. You know you want to have your way with her!" **the Kyuubi roared out as Naruto began to twitch his right eye. He was getting tired of this overly horny fox telling him to do things.

"Shut up you perverted fox! Ino would kill me if I got laid before the wedding!" Naruto responded as he glared at the fox. He was getting tired of the constant perversion from every direction.

**Back in reality…**

"ARGHH I'M SO BORED HOW AM I GONNA KILL TWO HOURS!?" Naruto yelled in frustration as he held onto his head.

Haku began to grin, she had a few ideas how the two of them could kill a few hours. Of course Naruto began to fill a chill down his spine he didn't feel comforted by that grin. "….Ohhhh Naruto-kun I know how we can kill some time…it's something I've been wanting for a while…" she grabbed hold of Naruto's arm and pulled him into her room.

"No! Nooooooo!!" Naruto cried but it was too late…there was no escaping the clutches of the beautiful young woman he lived with.

**One and a half hours later…OH YEAH!**

Naruto, and Haku were lying in bed next to each other, Naruto was staring at the ceiling with a stupid grin on his face. "Eh heh…I may end up dead…but at least I'll be happy…" Naruto replied, for someone who didn't like the idea in the first place he felt mighty proud of himself. Haku snuggled close to Naruto she smiled contently as if she had fulfilled her wildest dreams.

"Naruto-kun…you're an animal…" Haku quietly commented looking a bit flush from the activity. But the moment was quickly over as Naruto saw what time it was and rushed to the bathroom to clean up, he couldn't very well show up smelling like he just had sex. Haku sighed and stared at the ceiling she didn't like that the moment was over. "Oh well…I'll get more time with you at some point Naruto-kun…"

**Later at the ceremony location…**

Naruto was no dressed in his clan robes which had the same spiral design that his other outfits had. Of course it was orange with black hakama, he was not quite used to the way these clothes felt. He of course still had a stupid grin on his face, not the famous one the one that basically just said he got laid.

"Naruto…you have this stupid grin on your face. You look like you just…YOU DID!!" Jiraiya couldn't have been more proud of his student, of course pride was place in the wrong place. "But I suggest you not grin like that…women tend to not like it if you slept with someone else on your wedding day."

Naruto nodded his head and shifted it into his usual grin, which wouldn't get him killed. He looked out into the clearing seeing the people file in slowly, he was amazed at how many people were showing up. "Wow…a lot of people…good thing we didn't write our own vows…I couldn't recite that stuff in front of all these people."

"…Naruto…lets hope this wedding doesn't get too loud…or insane…then again I'm full rested…" Gaara commented being the ever pleasant Kazekage that he was known to be. Naruto had to slap himself though since he was starting to get nervous and who would blame him he was about to get married.

"Calm down kid nothing is gonna go wrong. Bridezilla made sure everything was going to go as planned." Shikamaru calmly said as he stepped forward. "That troublesome woman is making sure you don't run away…so I have to use my clan's jutsu to hold you in place if you try to run away. At which point we tie you up and the wedding goes on as planned. But Naruto…why do you like these troublesome women?"

"I dunno…I guess they have something I like. They keep me on my toes…and they keep me in line." Naruto grinned some about ready to walk out to the altar where he was supposed to wait.

"Bad news! Tsunade-sama got drunk!" Shizune declared as she ran up to the front of the area. Fortunately Jiraiya was there to do the ceremony, question is would they let him.

"I can do it!" Jiraiya declared as he walked out and stood at the altar where Tsunade would be and everyone was frightened very frightened. There were children present for crying out loud. "Relax! There is a time and place for perversions today isn't one of those times."

Naruto decided to take his place in front of the altar and decided it was time to get things started. That's when the traditional wedding march began to play and first Sakura walked out and took her spot off to the side, then the shy Hinata. Gaara and Shikamaru were standing beside Naruto, and then that's when Inoichi walked in leading his daughter up to the front, it almost looked as if he was going to cry.

"You may be seated…" Jiraiya spoke and everyone took their seats, this was probably the most joyous occasion in all of Konoha in sometime. The next Hokage was getting married, and Tsunade was passed out in the back. "We are here to observe as Naruto Uzumaki, and Ino Yamanaka begin the great journey of their lives. Although, this will be the first step in a much more perilous journey for Naruto. We look on in admiration for their commitment for one another. Now, for the exchanging of vows." Jiraiya finished the opening sermon deal and pointed to Naruto. He wasn't the kind to make a happy day into a drawn out showboating occasion.

"I Naruto Uzumaki, take Ino Yamanaka to be my loving wife, in sickness and in health 'til death do us part…" Naruto began as he gazed longingly at Ino as he held her hands in his. The people witnessing this were all shocked to say the least since they never expected Naruto to conduct himself seriously. "For all the days we shall be together, I shall love you my partner and my wife. I will always love you, now and forever more."

Jiraiya then pointed to Ino since it was her turn to speak her vows, it was amazing that Jiraiya had conducted himself seriously since he was a pervert. They had all expected him to open up with something about how Naruto is going to live out every man's fantasy.

"I, Ino Yamanaka, take Naruto Uzumaki to be my loving husband, in sickness and in health 'til death do us part….for all our days not matter how hard they be I shall always love you, my partner and my husband. Now and forevermore…" Ino smiled happily at Naruto as she finished speaking her vows though she said hers slightly different. She was so happy she didn't seem to take notice that her bridesmaids were ogling Naruto, talk about unusual weddings.

"Work together as Shinobi and Kunoichi, but more importantly as husband and wife. It is only through the partnership of husband and wife that you two can achieve true harmony. Now if anyone has any objections speak now or forever hold your peace." Jiraiya spoke no one did but one Sasuke Uchiha who was raising his hand. "Besides Sasuke Uchiha who is just jealous." Jiraiya interjected and since there were no further objections. "If there are no further objections…by the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Naruto and Ino just did that kissing each other passionately but not deeply, it wasn't vulgar either. It was just a simple passionate kiss between husband and wife, of course Shinobi didn't exchange rings when they got married since they got in the way of their job. The two broke from their kiss smiling happily and Jiraiya turned them to face the well wishers. "I present, Naruto and Ino Uzumaki." and then the Toad Sage pushed the two newly weds forward sending them down the aisle as people cheered.

Once outside all the women gathered up, but it was a competition between the women that wanted to be the next bride of Naruto that gathered. Ino turned around and threw her bouquet over her shoulders. Naruto and the other guys just winced at the horror that is women fighting over the wedding bouquet. "Ouch that's gonna leave a mark!" Naruto yelled as he saw Sakura punch a girl for trying to grab the bouquet, but eventually it was decided. The winner of the bouquet toss by shear will was…

Haku!?

"I did not see that happening…if I can have your attention please everyone. We will be gathering at the Shodai Dining Hall for the reception…" Naruto called out as he and Ino headed off ahead of everyone else. But the second round of the bouquet obtaining contest was beginning, Haku had to maintain ownership of the bouquet for a bit longer before she was the real winner.

"This is to determine who is deserving of Naruto more!" called out one of the girls as the fight began anew…

**At the dining hall…**

"You actually got me some ramen for the reception…I never expected you to do that for me Ino." Naruto said with a smile, Ino smiled in return despite her hate of the fattening food she liked Naruto to be happy. If serving noodles was the way to do it she got off easy.

"Only for you Naruto-kun." Ino smiled softly at her husband as they walked to their table and sat down. The feast of course was an incredible one, but they couldn't start 'til the guests arrived.

"The champion of the bouquet toss was decided! Man that was hilarious! Who knew Hinata could fight like that!! She must really want to marry Naruto or something!" Kiba called out as he laughed while they walked into the dining hall. Hinata wasn't far behind as she staggered in looking battle worn, she held up the bouquet like a victorious conqueror until she was tackled by Hana who took it away.

"THE CONTEST BEGINS ANEW!!" Kiba shouted as they watched the women start fighting over the bouquet again, but it quickly ended when Tayuya snatched it from Hana. No one dared to try and take the bouquet away from a temperamental red head, no one except Temari.

"Okay that's enough of the bouquet fight!" Naruto shouted to the girls as Anko leaped in and took the bouquet away. Anko quickly lost it to Kurenai who used Genjutsu and she lost it to Shizune. Naruto's eye twitched as he watched the contest continue on, apparently they were deciding still. But it all ended when a battle scarred Hinata and Haku ended up taking the bouquet from Shizune at the same time. The bouquet was torn in half.

"Okay…its over now…I shall marry Naruto-kun next." Hinata said as she caught her breath, before she noticed Haku had the other half.

"That's enough girls…it's not that important you will all get to marry me at some point…" Naruto calmly explained as the girls watched each other as if paranoid. Naruto sighed some it was quite the scene. But now they could eat.

**A bit later…**

Naruto had eaten his fair share of food and was sighing contently that's when Tayuya walked up to the table. Naruto wondered what she had wanted, he could only imaging the horror she was about to unleash upon him.

"Naruto…I'm pregnant!" the redhead blurted out and Naruto just became a pillar of stone at the three words. Naruto then fall face first right into a piece of wedding cake.

"Gonna be a daddy…" he mumbled out as he was still in shock, he had no idea that this would happen. He really had no idea, and that's when Ino grabbed him by the ear.

"Sweetie…were cheating on me before you were told to marry several women?" Ino asked as she twisted his ear.

"NO!! Ahhh!!" Naruto cried out in pain as his wife twisted his ear.

"Actually bimbo it all happened two nights ago we went drinking and the next morning we were in bed together. And HE WILL MARRY ME!" Tayuya was a very grouchy woman, must be the hormones then again she might just be acting like Tayuya.

"Okay then…but he better not make a habit of this!" Ino shouted at her husband who simply looked up through the skylight.

"KAMI? YOU'RE A WOMAN ARENT YOU!?" an expected response considering the insanity he was subjugated to.

**Author's notes: And here you go chapter 7 the wedding had disasters and eventually happened with out problem a short chapter I know. But I managed to try and finish it as fast as I could. **

**I will try to do better in the next chapter but as you know I sometimes dislike reading my own work. So bear with me. I will try and get the next chapter done sooner. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's notes: Yikes…Sorry I havent been updating this fic much lately. I got into writing Sounds lately, and then I acquired samurai warriors 2 empires. Fact about this author, I'm obsessed with feudal warfare. Anyways here it is chapter eight. No lemons this chapter. I will try and do it surname first since some of youglareyou know who you are keep busting my balls over the names being English. If I was doing them in English I would be saying the literal meanings of their names so c'mon stop busting my balls over something so trivial!!**

**Keep in mind that if you people keep demanding lemons in this fic I will stop writing it. Who do I look like? Larry Flint? I'm not turning a little comedy story into a piece of porn. **

"Speaking**"**

_'thinking'_

_**'Inner Self'**_

"**Kyuubi"**

Disclaimer: don't own Naruto! Wish I did!

**The day after….**

Naruto mumbled as he tried to get out of bed, but he was immediately pulled back down by his wife. "Going somewhere dear?" the blonde haired beauty venomously said as she pulled Naruto back into the bed. He sighed in exasperation, as he looked at his wife, "No more snoo snoo…the mind is willing but the body is tired…and unwilling!" Naruto whined it was understandable that he wasn't up to performing after a whole night of consummating the marriage.

"Oh what happened to the endless stamina you used to have?" Ino smirked as she poked his chest before kissing him softly. She then giggled some as she slipped out of the bed pulling on a robe. "I wasn't going to make you do anymore. But I'm not letting you out of the house today! You are on hiatus from you're 'mission' for today!" she sassily finished as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Yes my love." Naruto said in fear of his wife, he then lay fully on his back and stared at the ceiling for a moment, Ino then walked off quietly. Soon enough he smelled the aroma of food being cooked in the kitchen and his stomach actually twisted in fear. Now Ino was a beautiful woman and all but her cooking was little to be desired. It was so bad Naruto could hardly choke it down he clutched his stomach in loathing of the thought of eating that cooking.

"No choice but to run!" Naruto fearfully said as he jumped to his feet and quickly got dressed. He decided to avoid the fate worse than death and began to sneak through the large mansion he had to reach the back where he could sneak out one of the windows. He was about there when there it was, a pair of pale blue eyes narrowed and glaring with animosity at him, a great amount of killing intent was being exuded.

"Going somewhere koibito!?" Ino hissed as she clenched her fist, she noticed Naruto looking a bit sheepish as he backed up in fear. His right eye twitched he was quickly trying to think of an excuse that would be plausible and not get him hurt.

"It's not that you're a bad cook…just cooking isn't one of your strengths…you're best at botany, floral arrangements, and being a regular freak in bed…but your cooking isn't that good…" Naruto timidly said as he fidgeted some, then he saw his wife look down as veins popped out of her forehead. _'Oh shit…this isn't going to end well'_ he quickly thought.

Meanwhile as passers by walked passed the compound they all heard something that only signified the first incident of newly weds. The first fight of a married couple.

"NA"

"RU"

"TO!!!"

WHACK!

"ITAI!!!"

Sometime later…Naruto was sitting at the dinner table eyeing the breakfast his wife prepared for him. He poked it quietly with his chopsticks he had never seen an omelet like this it was thin and folded over with vegetables, meat, and cheese inside. Naruto couldn't do much with his chopsticks so he was about to try and eat it with his barehands. "It isn't going to kill you Naruto. And it might help to use a fork and knife." Ino scolded her uncouth husband who was about to try and eat it with his hands.

Naruto grumbled and cut off a small piece, he was slowly bringing the piece of food to his mouth he found that it was something Ino didn't scorch or somehow ruin. Kami be praised, Ino could cook something! Naruto took another bite just to make sure it wasn't just a fluke. Sure enough it was actually good, Naruto began to practically inhale the omelet. Soon he was looking at an empty plate, and he whimpered. "You honestly thought what you had before was my true cooking ability?" Ino slyly said as she ruffled her husband's hair.

**Elsewhere…namely outside the compound**

"She can't keep my…" Haku began but stopped when she was glared at by the Hyuuga Heiress, the medic-nin Sakura, and Tayuya. She quickly cleared her throat realizing that was the worst choice of words. "I mean our Naruto-kun…" Haku turned her attention back to the mansion, a vein was about to pop out of her forehead when she saw Taiyoumaru scratching at the front door.

"OH NO SHE DIDN'T!!" a fierce voice called out as a very irritated Hana walked up, she stormed right up to the front door and kicked it in. She was about to give Ino a piece of her mind, making such a sweet puppy as Taiyoumaru stay outside was just wrong. The other three girls simply waited for all hell to break loose, and sure enough the bickering commenced.

"Okay go!" Haku commanded as the three girls rushed to the mansion the three girls rushed in. Once inside the three were in shock as there was no Naruto in sight and there were others who were plotting to steal Naruto away, Shizune, Kurenai, and Anko to be precise.

"This is awkward…" Kurenai coldly commented as the group of girls collided in the dinning room. They then turned their attention to where Naruto was, only to find a Naruto plushie sitting in the chair. All eight of the women twitched in anger that Naruto ran away like that.

Naruto was a good twenty four blocks away when the shout echoed out from his mansion that told him they knew he was gone. And as if on cue he heard them all shout in unison as he was far enough away to escape their wrath.

"UZUMAKI NARUTO!!!!! Get your ass back here right now!!!"

Naruto who had Taiyoumaru in his arms made a run for it, he ran swiftly down the street and skidded to a stop seeing Gaara and Temari. "Oh fuck me sideways…" he couldn't get one day to himself, Naruto hung his head in defeat.

"Naruto…why are you avoiding my sister…?" Gaara coldly asked as he approached Naruto, who was by this point twitching in fear of Gaara. He was picturing it in his head, him being bound in sand by Gaara or something worse.

"I just haven't had the chance! I've been ya know forced on dates with other girls…getting married…trying to find a moments rest…" Naruto laughed nervously and raised his hands up quietly waving them in defense. "Five minute head start, before you force me to marry Temari even if I love her?" Gaara nodded slowly and Naruto ran like he never ran before. He didn't need to get married the day after he got married.

Naruto soon found himself being grabbed and pulled into an alley, he couldn't see who his savior was but was thankful she was leading him to safety. Eventually they were far enough away from the insanity that Naruto could breathe safely. He then raised his head and saw who his savior was and blinked in amazement, long blonde hair tied back neatly, and the slanted eyes. It was none other than Yugito.

"Why did you save me from the crazy women?" Naruto asked as he caught his breath, he didn't quite trust this woman. She was cold, and hateful, just then his suspicions were justified when she pulled out a kunai ready to stab him. She lunged forward and Naruto dodged the kunai missed his heart and went right through his hand.

He winced and pulled the knife out of his hand and dropped it to the ground looking at the woman angrily. He held his hand up for her to see, hoping she would come to realization with what she was dealing with. Her jaw hung wide in shock as she witnessed the wound healing slowly.

"You...you're not human!" she shouted as she took a step back, she didn't know why the Raikage gave her the mission at first but now it was becoming all too clear. Send a monster to kill a monster, she pulled out another kuani ready to strike him again, but he was too quick and grabbed hold of her wrist and pressed her against a wall. She then saw a look in his eyes, it was not too unlike the look she had in her eyes for so long. A look of loneliness.

"...It hurts doesn't it...?" she quietly said as she looked at him quietly, letting go of her kunai. Even if Naruto had so many friends now the look of loneliness remained the years of torment couldn't be erased in just a few years. They would remain with him forever, Naruto nodded his head quietly as he looked at her. "You know...you don't have to be alone anymore Yugito-chan...you have me...we are after all engaged." Naruto replied as he slid his hand down from her wrist to her hand lacing his fingers with hers.

"Naruto..." she whispered quietly, she was becoming somewhat less hostile in his presence. She found his presence to be warm, not a threat to her in the least. She dropped her arms quietly, and then she gasped in shock when she was pulled into his arms in a gentle embrace. Tears were welling in her eyes, she had never been held in her life, she had a hard life like any Jinchuuriki.

"I know what its like Yugito-chan...the years of loneliness they don't go away." Naruto spoke softly as he rested his head against hers quietly. She began to sob quietly and Naruto continued to hold her quietly he stroked her head as he comforted her, she dropped all the walls she had put up over the years and clung tightly to Naruto as she cried in his arms. She was no longer afraid to be true to herself and reveal that she was just a scared girl.

Naruto wiped the tears from her eyes, and smiled softly at her the girl timidly smiled for what seemed like the first time to her. "Never let people tell you what you are. What you contain isn't who you are...who you are is who you are you know?" Naruto tried his best at giving her a pep talk. The girl nodded her head, she felt increasingly more comfortable around this man who was her fiancé. She even blushed a little, she had never felt so cared for it made her feel warm and tingly inside.

Naruto leaned closer to her and brushed his lips over hers as he kissed her softly, she wrapped her arms around his neck as she blushed softly. She had never been kissed because in Kumogakure people were too afraid of her, she pressed herself close to Naruto giving into the moment. She slowly broke away from the kiss and looked to the ground, she had never experience a kiss and that was her first kiss.

"Naruto...that...that was so wonderful..." she looked longingly into Naruto's eyes finding the acceptance that she had wanted for so many years. She snuggled close resting her head on Naruto's chest, she feeling safe around him, his words had managed to convince her she didn't have to go through with her mission.

The way her heart was racing anymore when she was around the blonde convinced her that she couldn't do it. The truth was she had fallen for him, he acknowledged her, it was what she always needed was to just be acknowledged as a person and not as a tool. Naruto was someone she could rely on someone who could make her feel like a person.

Naruto caressed her cheek and smiled warmly at her, he was always one to put the needs of others before his own. This was fundamentally what made him a prime candidate for Hokage. He was never the kind to be selfish or put his needs before others, this was the primary factor that made him popular with the girls.

As if on cue the moment was ruined and Anko descended from above and dragged Naruto away taking him back to her _lair_ to do Kami knows what with Naruto. One thing that could be said about that was, may there be mercy on his soul, for it was rumored Anko was really, really in need of a man. No one would be seeing Naruto for a while, but it seemed Kami hadn't truly forsaken Naruto today.

Kurenai rushed forward and tackled Anko to the ground before trying to pull Naruto off towards her home. As if on cue the other girls arrived, Gaara was no longer planning to interfere, "Never before in the history of girls loving Naruto has their been a spectacle such as this." Kiba said into a microphone at a table off to the side. Naruto sweat dropped at this because it was frankly annoying.

"I agree it all started back in our Genin days and the leading veteran of the sport Hyuuga Hinata is still managing to give it her all. And is that your sister?" Shino commented as the two were watching the all out brawl the erupted. It made the bouquet toss look docile, Hinata jumped building ledge diving straight at Naruto ready to drag him away. Before she could get away Sakura threw a punch which Hinata knocked away with ease.

"Yes that is my sister she is a rookie to the sport it seems as she is making the biggest mistake a rookie can make!" Kiba exclaimed watching his sister made an attempt to get Naruto away from Hinata and Sakura. The three girls entered into more serious hand to hand combat as Naruto crawled across the ground in an attempt to get away.

Naruto had almost crawled away when Tayuya started glowering down at him, he laughed in fear and tried to run away but the redhead grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. She was dragging Naruto away virtually unchallenged, until a girl with glasses blocked her path. "OH CMON GIVE ME A BREAK!!!" Naruto shouted in anger as Karin seemed insistant on stopping Tayuya from getting away with Naruto.

"Look slut you better not be getting in the way of me and Naruto getting married because I'm not giving birth to a bastard!" Tayuya shouted angrily clenching her fist, of course all the girls in the vicinity blanched and stepped back. She was only a few days into her pregnancy and she was already trying to kill people. Er maybe that was just normal maybe the hormones haven't started going all out of whack yet.

"I am you got a problem with that? It's not like you're going to have a baby in an hour." the girl responded, before adjusting her glasses. This was none other than Karin a former experiment of Orochimaru's that Sasuke had brought back to the village. She was a bit unstable in all honesty, but as Naruto liked to put it when Ino wasn't around, she was hot.

"Ummm excuse me?" Naruto tried to get the fighting to stop but his calls were drowned out by the bickering of the women. "WHAT IS IT NARUTO!?" the two girls fighting over him in his vicinity snapped angrily at him. The classic women snapping at the guy they're fighting over. "Do I get a say in this at all? I am after all the father of the baby...and I thought you liked Sasuke or something Karin..." Naruto sheepishly said as he scratched his cheek in timidness of the crazy ladies.

"I did...but..." Karin took her glasses off and smirked pulling Naruto's head against her chest, causing the blonde to turn bright red. "I decided I like you much more Naruto-kun...you are so strong and you care..." she then ran her fingers through the blonde's hair causing him to stammer. She then began to rub her chest against her face grinning darkly completely ignoring her competition. "Naruto-kun I would love for you to come over to my place for dinner tonight. So please say yes." she then pouted, this caused Naruto to immediately cave in as he nodded his head.

"Kiba what did we just witness?" Shino asked as he and Kiba continued their observations from the side lines as self proclaimed play by play announcers.

"That was Karin's patented seduction technique, lets go to the video playback!" before they could do such Temari knocked the two away with her fan, her eye twitching in anger. "NARUTO YOU LUCKY SON OF A BIT-" before Kiba could finish he and Shino disappeared into the horizon.

"HOW DARE THAT BITCH!!!" all of the other girls shouted in anger, but Naruto having learned in his years of experience in dealing with Ino knew it was time to run. So he jumped to his feet and grabbed hold of Tayuya's hand pulling her away so they could take care of her problem, he wasn't about to be hit over the head by her.

"Naruto! What the fuck!?" Tayuya yelled at Naruto ready to smack him across the back of the head. He could of at least given her warning, but Naruto didn't show any fear of her and kept leading her towards the Hokage tower for a quickie wedding, since he didn't figure Tayuya was big on ceremonies.

"We're getting married thats what the fuck." he realized all too late that he wasn't making much sense but he didn't care. He stopped for a moment and rubbed his temples, "Look Tayuya-chan you wanna get married right? We're gonna get married I wont to avoid any further insane battles royale! Frankly it stopped being funny three chapters ago."

"Chapters? What the fuck are you talking about!?" Tayuya's eye twitched as she raised her hand up to smack the father of the child she was expecting.

"Calm down...we're getting a quickie wedding!" Naruto casually said his hands raised in defense, he didn't want the girl to hit him over the head. He saw the blood vein throbbing in her neck and sighed softly as he heard the sounds an approaching thwack. But found his ear grasped and twisted causing him to shout out in pain, he felt like he was being treated like a womanizer. Well he technically was.

"Oh isn't that just sweet, we can tell the kid one day that the reason why we're together is you knocked me up and we got married so he wouldn't be a bastard! Aren't you just romantic! And we can tell them that you were already married! And that on our wedding night you were on a date with a slut who came onto you like a drunk prom date!" Tayuya was going into a long rant and Naruto knew he wasn't going anywhere for a while. Luckily he had a candy bar, so he sat down and began to eat his candy bar while Tayuya continued to rant. Naruto was doing quite the the good job blocking out her complaining, it was like he had some experience with it.

"I love it! It will give the kid wonderful emotional scars! Every kid needs some! Just not to the degree that whiny Uchiha bitch has em." the redhead smirked and pulled Naruto in the direction of the Hokage Tower she was all for the plan. Naruto's eye once more twitched in shock, this girl was crazy, very very crazy.

**Moment's later...**

"Okay you're now husband and wife! Here's your marriage license." Tsunade handed over the paper to the two and smiled. _'Ah to be young and in lust.' _was her only thought about it as she looked at the two in front of her. It would seem her plan to get Naruto to reproduce was already working since she heard the circumstances.

"Alright shithead. It's done try not to be out with bimbos all night long. Or I will convince your other wife that we should make you help us redecorate the mansion...with out **Kage Bunshin**!" the in itself was a torture no man should have to endure. The frilliness and the girliness would drive any straight man sane, Sai probably thrived in that environment, and that was no generalization. People had seen Sai's bedroom, and the memory of it made Naruto cringe.

"Yes dear..." Naruto was once again defeated by a woman proving that he will be the most whipped man in Konoha since Nara Shikaku. He was simply put doomed, doomed as Kakashi if he ran out of porn, he might actually have to interact with a woman if that happened. "It's just a dinner...what could possibly go wrong?"

Tsunade, Tayuya, and Shizune who was the witness all narrowed their eyes slightly at Naruto. They couldn't believe he was that gullible, it wasn't so much that Karin was a slut, it was that she always got what she wanted.

"Eh hehe...right...well I gotta go then..." Naruto said as he rubbed the back of his head, he laughed nervously before bolting out the door. Tsunade's eye was twitching, she had no idea what kind of monster she had created. She was turning Naruto into a womanizer.

"That's your dream boat running off on another date Shizune. Doesn't that make you proud?" Tsunade had to tease her apprentice, it was the perfect set up and it garnered a response as Shizune's eye twitched. This caused Tsunade to snicker with pleasure at the infuriation of her assistant.

**Later at Karin's apartment...**

Naruto knocked at the door, he suddenly got this chill that ran down his spine. He felt the sense of impending doom, like he had whenever Ino and Sakura were about to start fighting. "Come in!" Karin called from inside, and Naruto opened the door and walked in, he looked about until he finally found her. Karin used her feminine charm to get what she wants but it would seem that what she wanted was Naruto because she was standing coyly off to the side in a sexy black dress.

Naruto seeing this pinched his nose since he felt a nose bleed coming on. Impending doom indeed, of all the girls who could make him dinner it had to be this one. A girl that made Temari and Ino look homely, it must be the glasses, it was statistically proven girls with glasses were cute. "Are you okay Naruto-kun?" Karin asked as she set a hand on his cheek causing him to stammer some.

"Good because I made ramen special for you." at the mention of ramen he didn't care what angle she was working. He was essentially a prostitute when it came to ramen, have an ugly daughter that needed a date throw in some ramen and he would do it. Naruto sped to the table and sat down, _'excellent...my plan is working! Soon Naruto wont be able to resist my charms! Unlike that obviously gay Sasuke! No straight man can resist me!!!' _Karin was mentally declaring the hopes of her victory.

Naruto was falling right into the obvious trap set by the devious Karin, there had to be a reason why Sasuke stayed away from her obviously. Naruto had to think for a moment what was more important loyalty to the marriages, or ramen cooked by a femme fatale...if you don't know the answer you definitely don't know Naruto. It was the ramen.

Sometime later Naruto leaned back in his chair satisfied with all he had devoured, Karin just stared in shock that he had eaten everything that she cooked. She smirked, now was the time for her to spring into action and make Naruto hers. She walked over to him and leaned close to his ear and smirked again and whispered in a husky voice, "I hope you saved room for _desert..._" she then wrapped her arms around his neck

"Sure! What's for desert!" Naruto was once again proving how his libido came after his appetite, it was slowly coming to his realization that wasn't what she meant. What let him know what she meant was when she took her glasses off and set them on the table a tell tale sign she was going seduction mode. And then his realizations would catalyze when her lips brushed over his suddenly, then he felt the kiss deepen.

Naruto was giving into his baser instincts and wrapped his arms around her, he was unable to resist her any longer. Karin slowly sat on Naruto's lap, she broke away from the kiss for a moment she nuzzled her face into his neck. "Naruto-kun...I have a special surprise for you..." she slyly said as she hopped off his lap and took him by the hand leading him to her bedroom. Naruto wasn't about to fight it, Karin was one of those girls you just couldn't say no to. She was like a beautiful goddess to Naruto.

Naruto pulled the woman into his arms, "You know with that messy black hair of yours, you're the most irresistible woman in the village..." he softly said before kissing her deeply not giving her a chance to respond. He pushed her down onto her bed and crawled onto of her with a sly grin on his face, she blushed and let loose a squeak. "I unleashed a wild animal didn't I?" she asked coyly getting a nod from Naruto, she leaned her head up to kiss him again.

Hours would pass and the two were now laying tangled in one another's limbs, Naruto was breathing heavily as was Karin. "I might be stuck on redecorating duty but that was totally worth it!" Naruto said with a cheerfully glimmer to his eyes. Karin's face was flush she also had a look of satisfaction on her face, she was snuggling close to him feeling quite happily.

"I see you are the man for me Naruto-kun...you have enough stamina for me. I don't know how many times we did it but I think I lost count around the eighth time..." she smirked as she looked at her ravaged room. Yes it was true the two didn't relegate themselves to staying on the bed, they had their _fun_ all over the room...and apartment. "So...when will you ask me to marry you?" she smirked since her plan had come full circle, she got Naruto into bed.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!" Naruto's eye twitched that was definitely a mood killer, thats when Karin put on a pair of glasses and smirked. Naruto's eyes rolled back for a moment. There was nothing more potent than a girl with glasses, girls with glasses had a power over guys. Naruto was no longer in a twitchy mood due to seeing Karin put her glasses on. "You ready for round two?" she huskily said as she nipped at Naruto's neck, he felt that feeling of dread go down his spine again.

"Hoo boy...I can tell this will just be one of those days...and I didn't get to sleep yet! Maybe if I can get some food and coffee..." Naruto whined as he looked at the ceiling. He needed some coffee, and some food if she expected him to do that again. He wondered why she suddenly became so fond of him, it was unsettling maybe her biological clock started ticking.

"Okay! But then you gotta be ready for round two!" she grinned darkly causing Naruto to freeze a bit. He was a dead man, he felt like she was using him like a sex slave, _'maybe she wanted babies or something'_ Naruto thought to himself it was odd that she was going to such lengths. He if you would pardon the pun came, he saw, and he conquered several times last night.

**Yet across the village at the Uzumaki Mansion...**

"I am going to kill him!!" Ino twitched with anger since Naruto never came home last night. She was about ready to kill her husband for this, Tayuya was of course in the same boat. She was going to kill him for being gone all night, when she specifically told him not to be out all night with bimbos. If Naruto knew what was good for him he wouldn't come home today, but this was Naruto we were talking about he always went into the heart of danger.

**Author's Notes: Okay there's chapter 8...if you guys behave yourselves I may give you a lemon next chapter. I know you want more lemons but c'mon I don't like to write them they demean what I'm trying to write. Lemons don't make a fic good people it just makes it a little bit trashier, if you don't remember this is a humor fic. I might write a few more lemons in the fic but it all depends on you. If you keep harassing me to write more lemons I wont put them in. I might even stop writing this fic so keep that in mind.**

**If you got a problem with it write your own fic, I don't like writing lemons so for the last time stop asking for them. If you haven't gathered by reading the fic I updated more than this I'm not into writing this fic, it doesn't offer creativity. I'm not a person who likes to be ordered around and you people with your damn lemon obsession is starting to wear thin on my nerves. So please try and stop telling me what I should write, it really irritates me when you do that.**


End file.
